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Top Failings of the War Arc 3: The Sequel Nobody Asked For

Yes, yes, I know the title is woefully inaccurate. Yes, I know this is a highly anticipated post, and one you’ve all been waiting for with bated breath for over a year: the third part to my “Top Failings of the War Arc” series (second is here). Indeed, this post will be the beacon in the darkness of the void I have left in your hearts. Sit back, rejoice, and bask in my glorious wisdom. Kisu back, yo.

Now, initially I had planned to do this when the series ended. Rumor on the net was that Kishimoto said it would end in 2014, so it was my intention to do one post that chronicled all of the War Arc’s atrocities since the last one, but that was just a mistranslation. Now you get this post. Yay shoddy translators? Regardless, I had intended to include everything that made me cringe in this post, but I have decided just one topic is comprehensive enough to talk about, and is the root of all the problems of this arc. Yes, this post is about the villains.

But before we get to them, let’s talk about a fairly large retcon that put a whole new spin on the series. An unwelcome spin, at that.

YOU SHOULD FEEL SORRY FOR THEM!!!!!!

Evil Brain Chakra

I don’t know if Kishimoto realizes the implications he introduced when he made this as an explanation for the typical douchebaggery the average Uchiha takes part in. See, what this means is the Uchiha are naturally predisposed to being evil. It means that Uchiha freaking out and becoming murder hobos (i.e. wandering ninjas that murder people, like Sasuke or Itachi) isn’t a weird happenstance, but something that should be expected. What this means is: they’re a clan of psychopaths and it is genetic. Now that you have a firm grasp of the Uchiha, let me explain the implications to you.

1. The Massacre was unambiguously a good thing. Why? Because they’re a clan of evil dirtbags. Nobody, and I mean nobody, would object to wiping out an army of Nazzies (well, except him), and we know they at least believed their cause was for the greater good, as misguided and wrong as they were. Meanwhile, the Uchiha are genetically compelled to be evil for evil’s sake.

2. Not genociding them all this time was a product of criminal negligence. If you had the power to kill every Natsee with the press of a button, but didn’t, you’d be as much an accessory to their atrocities as the guns they carried, since you can stop them but choose not to. That’s the Uchihas and Konoha, but worse. Tobirama was the only one smart enough to go “hey, maybe we should keep an eye on this clan of murder hobos,” and Danzo and the modern council were the only ones responsible enough to wipe them all out.

3. The black Zetsu retcon falls flat on its face. Kishimoto wants us to believe he steered them down the wrong path… but that doesn’t fly since we know taking an Uchiha’s lolipop is enough for that Uchiha to go on a murder rampage. Or if an Uchiha’s gradnma died, or if their puppy died, or anything at all that they even barely perceive as a slight against them.

Now that that’s out of the way, let’s move on to the villains:

Srsly, not about her

Obitobi aka “The Coolest Guy”

Where do I even begin with this walking disappointment? Okay, I have a brilliant idea, because I’m brilliant.

1. “I’m no one important.” His whole Masked Man phase. What was that even about? Why did he call himself Madara around Zetsu? Zetsu knew who he was! Really, this is the only decent incarnation of Obito. Getting rid of it for what he was to become is a failing in and of itself that could warrant its own post, but I wanna keep this read short and sweet. Not much to say about this beyond “wasn’t as bad as what came after”. Now to talk about what came after.

2. “It isn’t about Rin. THIS IS FOR KILLING RIN!”. This is what replaced The Masked Man. This whiny villain that can’t even make up his goddamn mind about what his motivation is. You could argue that Kishimoto intended him to flip flop to show that the original Obito is still in there somewhere, but that doesn’t work as an excuse for him since all it did was make one member of your big bad triumvirate a joke. Was he determined to bring Rin back in his Tsukuyomi world? Probably not since he couldn’t kill Naruto and Sasuke despite having the powers of the Naruniverse’s equivalent of God… but more on that later.

3. “To me, Obito is the coolest guy!” – Naruto. Right. Obito that murdered Neji in cold blood, showed no apprehension in killing his former sensei and his wife, Hiruzen’s wife, Konan (Obito sure likes killing women: must be because Rin friendzoned him), countless children from the Hidden Mist, thousands of ninjas in the war, and many more offscreen murders. This represents Kishimoto wanting us to think Obito is cool and redeemed… but he really isn’t. He truly, truly isn’t. After all he did he cannot be redeemed as simply as he did there. He committed suicide rather than continuing to fight… but more on that later.

Madara

How could a villain have so much build up, yet amount to such shit? Let me list why:

1. The power scale. Madara and Hashirama are absurdly powerful, to levels that are just stupid. These men can singlehandedly beat Biju and transform the landscape when they fight. Why are they this powerful? How could any clan even continue to exist with these two powerhouses running around? How did Kakuzu or Onoki survive their respective encounters with each? It’s simple, really. Retcons. Kishimoto realized he’d escalated the series to such a degree that the only way to live up to the hype he made for these two was to completely retcon Hashirama and Tobirama vs Sarutobi and inflate their power levels to end of Dragonball (Piccolo vs Goku) levels.

2. How can he do the things he does? The series bends itself backwards to accommodate this character. Why can he break free of Edo Tensei, being used by a ninja that has mastered it beyond anything any before him have, while Tobirama, the man who made it, cannot break free of an inferior Edo Tensei? Why can Madara just pull out people’s eyes and pop ’em into his eye sockets without any medical ninjutsu? Why does Madara have instant mastery over every technique, whether bloodline-related or not (do remember it took Kakashi years to be able to use Kamui to a degree that is less than Obito can)? Because plot, is the answer to all of these.

3. Get to the damn point. When Aizen from Bleach toyed with his opponents and let them live, he had a purpose for it. He needed people strong enough to make him feel fear for his life so he could evolve to further forms of power. He needed this to be able to fight all of Squad 0, so there was a purpose behind his tomfoolery. Madara is not this character. He toyed around with everyone, despite constantly mentioning “it’s time to get this over with.” Since this plan just requires him to activate a jutsu, he could’ve done it at any time, but wasted his efforts playing with his enemies. This is not “cool” or “villainous,” it’s called “being a goddamned idiot”. Kishimoto just needed a way for his characters to not lose to him, and couldn’t think of any so he ended up writing his villain as an incompetent knit.

4. “I still don’t know how i’m going to have Madara defeated” – Kishimoto. That speaks for itself.

“Why am I written so terribly?”

Kaguya

This “character” was introduced as the true final boss, supplanting the one that had been built up since the start of part 2. Before she took center stage as the big bad, she had only been mentioned in passing twice (her debut mention being in 646), and then 33 chapters later, she replaces Madara as big bad. Why? Because Kishimoto couldn’t figure out a way to have Madara lose. However, in doing so he introduced an even more powerful character… that just so happened to be an even bigger goddamned idiot than Madara.

She has the barest of motivations and it doesn’t even make sense. She wants to rule the world and create an army? FOR WHAT? You already rule the world. What, is she gonna take them off into space to fight the Saiyans or something? She had the power to end the fight in a finger flick, but never did it. Finally, and arguably the worst of all, she had absolutely no characterization whatsoever, as she was mute for almost the entirety of the fight, having Black Zetsu do the talking for her. For all you rookie writers out there, this is how to not write a character you mean to be important. Absolutely awful, she was. Really, the most infuriating thing about her is she is yet another character that was too stupid to use her power… but more on that later.

Such a brilliant character design!

Black Zetsu

Why? Just why? His only excuse for living is being a tool to make the Uchiha not be as bad, even though they are, and to make Kaguya be introduced into the plot. He’s just a plot device character and nothing else. An atrocious excuse for a villain. The sheer amount of retcons to justify him and White Zetsu.

Madara: “Black Zetsu is my will and White Zetsu was made from Hashirama!”

Later chapters: “White Zetsu is the result of Infinite Tsukuyomi and Black Zetsu is somehow from Kaguya!”

Never before has there been so many retcons in the same arc to things introduced in that very arc.

Now Let’s Talk About the Elephant in the Room

This is the “more on that later” section.

1. Obito had the power of Shinra Tensei on his side. Shinra Tensei’s power, according to the third databook, is to dispel ninjutsu, and we see Pain do that to the Rasenshuriken multiple times in the fight against Naruto. Naruto and Sasuke’s final attack against him wouldn’t have worked if he just [bleep]ing remembered he could use that.

2. Obito let himself die because he wanted to try to get lucky with Rin, rather than continue fighting. He had the time to run and intercept Kaguya’s bones, and then Kamui away the one fired at Kakashi. Had he remained where he was, he could’ve Kamui’d both bones away instead of wasting time trying to block with his body. He’d proven himself to be valuable to them in the fight as he was the only one that could also hop dimensions. If Kaguya wasn’t mentally damaged, Obito would’ve doomed them all by forgetting how his own powers worked.

3. Kaguya. I mentioned how Kubo gave Aizen a valid reasoning for having to leave his opponents alive, but Kishimoto tried doing it with Kaguya and failed. She wants Naruto and Sasuke’s chakras, but Black Zetsu tells her she doesn’t need it. That one line made the entire final battle utterly pointless. She’s there risking her defeat for something she doesn’t even need.

But let’s operate under the premise that she must have that chakra. All she needs to do is touch them, but she can never get in too close and they try their best not to be caught by her. It sure would be nice if the Rinnegan had a power that somehow sucked people in close to the user. Oh wait… It’s almost like Nagato is the only character that knew how to use the Rinnegan.

Now, what if Kaguya was a competent villain and just wanted to kill them? Well that’s easy too! Trap each of them in a separate dimension and wait for about 60 days. They’d die of hunger and she would be queen of the world. Now, if we factor in that she really wants their chakra, she could instead wait 20 days. They’d be tired, starving and too weak to fight. Boom, you just won.

How did Kaguya lose? She got blindsided by attacks from all angles. How is this even possible when she has the Byakugan? She should’ve seen them coming and be able to react accordingly.

4. Madara. Just use Shinra Tensei, bro. One Shinra Tensei from Pain shattered the bones of all of Naruto’s giant toads. One Shinra Tensei destroyed Konoha. Now imagine a Shinra Tensei boosted by the chakra of the 10 tails. Even before getting the ten tails, he could’ve just dropped meteors on everyone and end it there. Really, Madara had the absolute most ways he could’ve won, but because of stupidity (on both his and Kishimoto’s part) he was unable to.


In summation, the Naruto War Arc is most impacted negatively by its villains. Its mediocre villains that are incomprehensible to anyone that even critically looks at Naruto for an instant.

Top Failings of the War Arc 2

Post Author: Kisuzachi

A little over a year ago I made a post about the most important failings of this current arc, and over the course of merely a year Kishimoto has topped every gripe I had. Essentially, in comparison to the current failings, last year’s list may actually be winnings, but only in comparison of course. Now, a thing like fails is somewhat subjective, but I think we can all be in agreement when I say some things are objectively bad. I’ll be posting this on my phone, so forgive the lack of colors, I ask.

1. The Villains are too powerful.

It is a common storytelling tool, especially in Shonen, that the next bad guy is typically stronger than the one before. However, it is important for one to not go overboard with this. when you’re careful, you go from a villain like Orochimaru to the Akatsuki. When not careful you end up with Madara, Obito and Kabuto. These three villains are so absurdly powerful that there is no convincing way to beat them without making them pants-on-head retarded. Then there’s the Jubi, whose menace is non-existant at this point since it continues to fail and have no real impact on anything. All tension dies the moment you remember Madara could drop a meteor on the battlefield and kill everyone there or that Tobi could just trap Naruto and Bee in his pocket dimension like he did with Fuu and Torune.

2. The Villains are bad.

Why is Madara evil? Because Tobirama rightfully said they should keep an eye on the Uchiha and because he wasn’t made Hokage. Hashirama is one o the worst characters I’ve ever ha the displeasure of knowing about. He was willing to sacrifice his life for an evil, selfish bastard in Madara that he had already defeated. He got upset at Tobirama for making the people vote for their leader instead of going along with him appointing Madara as leader. His entire character was devoted to appeasing Madara’s ego, and all this did was make Madara come off as a stupid, self-entitled brat with an incomprehensibly large mancrush on Hashirama.

What is Kabuto’s goal? He wants to follow in Naruto’s footsteps and overcome Orochimaeu like  Naruto overcame the Kyubi like he said all those hundreds of chapters ago? Wrong! Okay, he wants to learn as many jutsus ad he can like Orochimaru did? No! Okay, i give up. Tell me what he wants. He wants to be Sasuke’s older brother. What. No, really, what? That is Kabuto’s nonsensical goal that in no way meshes well with him helping Tobi.

Tobi… oh Tobi. I don’t even know where to begin with this guy. When his mask came off two characters got kicked in the nuts by Kishimoto: Obito and The Masked Man (TMM). TMM was the nihilistic guy who spent most of his time onscreen getting to the point and avoiding lengthy talking. Obito was the one unambiguously good Uchiha that gave his beliefs to Kakashi, who in turn gave it to Naruto. After the mask came off, Tobi became incessantly whiny, the things he says no longer makes any sense and he contradicts himself every time he opens his mouth. “Don’t think this is about you and Rin, Kakashi.” then he says “You let Rin die, you’re trash.” and he continually thinks of her while onscreen.

3. The Uchiha

Remember how we were supposed to think the Uchiha massacre was a bad thing? In fact, we’re still supposed to think that. But why should we? This Arc revealed that every Ichiha is born with evil brain chakra… LOL. This is no joke, you read that right, evil brain chakra. What this means is every Uchiha, more than anyone else in the world, is predisposed to evil. This, in essence, means Tobirama would’ve been downright NEGLIGENT to not watch them, and a leader would be downright inept if the Uchiha were not massacred before they threw the world into chaos. No, Kishimoto, evil brain chakra does not Bsolve the Uchiha of their crimes, it just means they should’ve been dealt with faster.

4. Character Derailment

I’m gonna keep this section short, sweet and to the point.

A) Sasuke: suddenly becoming sane and joining the good guys, conpletely negating hundreds and hundreds of chapters of buildup. I swear you cannot handle someone switching sides worse than Sasuke the two times he did it.

b) Itachi: he moved from a tragic character to becoming Christ. Suddenly his parents were happy to be killed by him, lessening the paun associated with their deaths. He’s somehow good enough to be giving Naruto and Killerbee instructions in the fight with Nagato as if they were Genin. He tells Labuto he is lying to himself… but who or what makes Itachi good enough to tell Kabuto he is lying to himself. Kabuto busted his ass to get to where he was and WAS trying to find his true self through his biological knowledge, but Itachi goes “lolnope, I somehow know you better than yoh know yourself.” He’s a self-righteous asshole, but Kishi portrays his self-righteousness as noble. Disgusting.

C) Sakura: think about recent developments. Now think about what’s happened over the past 400 chapters. Let it sink in. Sakura has been storing up chakra all this time and refused to use that stored up chakra against Sasori even though he was gonna kill her and Chiyo. She didn’t use it when Naruto went 4tails against Orochimaru to help him. She didn’t use it against Hidan and Kakuzu. She didn’t use it during Pain’s invasion. She didn’t use it to beat Sasuke, even going so far as to say she’s useless and that she’ll just leave things in Naruto’s hands. She didn’t use it to heal Neji before he died. What this tells us is that she’s either a heartless monster or Kishimoto NEVER planned this and just did it to have shitty Sanin symbolism.

There are others, but if I went through them all we’d be here all night.

5) Broken Aesops.

Old generation being surprised by the new. Lol, right. Given what we saw in the Madara vs Hashirama battle, no ninja has surpassed those two. Madara easily beats all 5 Kages. When things looked their worst against the Jubi, the previous 4 generations of Kages come to save the day. The old generation kicks ass and the current one IS ass.

Unity is Stronger than all the Biju and kekkei genkai in the world. Bullshi-. Naruto and Bee are wasting time and chakra protecting the 50000 or so Ninja there. The “alliance” has literally contributed nothing to this that Naruto and Bee couldn’t by just throwing Bijudama after Bijudama at the Jubi. In fact, they’d likely have done more damage since Kurama wouldn’t have the need to be giving out his chakra like that.

Be your own person. Itachi vs Kabuto was basically one big PSA about being yourself because you’re the only you. The message exists in Naruto and Sasuke too. Before Kishi tried making Sakura ‘useful’, Naruto hadn’t used Jiraiya’s techniques and teachings for a hell of a long time because right now he’s forging his own legend. Sasuke abandoned Orochimaru and the Snake motif when he changed his team’s name to Hawk, and stopped using Snakes, instead summoning a hawk against Danzo. In a ploy to make Sakura seem like she has grown, he reverts Naruto and Sasuke’s character development to maintain Sanin Symlolism.

A happy world of lies is worse than a terrible world of truths.

Tobi: “Rin didn’t deserve to die. If this wold allows someone as good as her to die, it simply cannot be real.”

Kakashi: “I’ll kill the present you to maintain the past you.”

See the similarity?

My main problems with this arc fall into being very subjective, so I will end it here. I do hope yoi enjoyed this read, because I sure as hell enjoyed writing it more than I’ve enjoyed Naruto in the past 2 years. This post doesn’t come from a place of hate; I hate Twilight but you don’t see me devoting entire posts to it. No, thismpost is born from feelings of betrayal coming from someone that once loved this series. I hope this manga is coming to an end, but I also hope Kishimoto actually pits effort into this, or far more than he has been. This series, despite its many many many flaws deserves a strong ending. G’night Shannaro!

Naruto Chapter 597: The Secret Behind the Space-Time Ninjutsu

Hola, mis queridos Narutardos!!!  After an unexpected manga break last week, we are compensated with a similarly unexpected early release.  Pardon me if I butcher this and the near-future reviews; I recently enrolled in graduate school for the physical chemistry program in Madrid.  You know I’m a high school teacher, but I’m fed up with teaching little brats.  Thus, I’ve decided to become a college professor, for which I need a master’s degree or a doctorate.  So yeah…  Don’t worry, folks; I’ll post something every week, even if it’s sh*tty.

This was an awesome and partially revealing chapter, except for Naruto’s super cliché speech towards the end.  It’s cool and all that Kurama is helping Naruto, but they need Kakashi in order to cause Tobi any damage.  Right now winning the battle is not a matter of raw power and sheer strong will, but of calm and coldly calculated strategy.  But I digress…  Let’s jump into the juicy.

I know, I know…  I kinda nailed it on the Hatake Space-Time Ninjutsu Theory.  Give me the f*cking Nobel Prize in Manga.  Nah, I was just a helluva lucky bastard.  A lot of you guys had already thought the same anyway.  Instead of regurgitating the entire working principle of Tobi’s jutsu in the last review, allow me to make these amendments:

  • Tobi’s body is indeed warped to another dimension when he used his Space-Time technique.  However, only the parts of his body that overlap with an object (attack, material, ground, etc.) are sent to another dimension.  This is especially useful for avoiding pregnancies, if you know what I mean.
  • Since only  the overlapped parts of his body are sent to another dimension, his consciousness remains in the real dimension (whatever that is).  In other words, if they want a Kamui-warped attack to be fatal, they must overlap with a delicate part of Tobi’s body (no, I didn’t mean ‘that’ part)–the thoracic cavity, neck, and unmasked head perhaps.
  • The relative position of the attack when warped matters and must be with respect to the general area of the “intangible” overlapped region of Tobi’s body…  All that to say…  The attack must be close to the overlapped body in order to cause damage.
  • The reason why Kamui-warped objects interact with Tobi’s warped body parts is because they share the same alternate dimension.  The reason why they share the same dimension is not that all space-time techniques share the same alternate dimension.  Rather, the reason is that, as it was strongly implied but not explicitly stated (there should be no doubt, though), Kakashi’s and Tobi’s techniques belong to same set of eyes–Obito’s Sharingan.
  • The theory does not exactly elucidate the inner workings of all space-time ninjutsu.  Rather, it specifically explains the powers and principles behind Obito’s set of Sharingan eyes.

Before people jump to conclusions about Tobi’s identity, let me make something clear.  We still do not know for sure that Tobi is Obito.  No such thing was ever mentioned in this chapter, even if it appears to be implied.  When we finally learn the truth, we will be willing to accept whatever Tobi’s identity turns out to be.  Until then, Tobi is not Obito because of the timeline issues.  What we know for sure now is that Tobi’s right eye is Obito’s Sharingan.  This would make sense given the previously stated facts about the space-time technique.  Plus, although minimally important, if Tobi is a non-Uchiha that transplanted Obito’s eye, then it would make sense for his eye to be always activated.  How do we know it’s Obito’s right eye?  It’s the only eye that could share dimensions with Kakashi’s, not to mention that Obito would be the only Uchiha involved in the Battle of Kannabi Bridge.  How did his eye survive the collapsing cave?  I’m as baffled as you are.  I have no f*cking clue.

Now, let’s analyze the Sharingan.  We have observed Itachi and Sasuke using different techniques with each Mangekyo Sharingan.  Itachi uses Amaterasu with his right eye and Tsukuyomi with his left eye.  Sasuke uses Amaterasu with his left eye and Tsukuyomi with his right eye.  Basically, each Mangekyo Sharingan eye has a technique of its own.  While the connection between these two techniques is not as evident as that between Obito’s eyes, it is reasonable for Obito’s eyes to be similar in principle and still be different techniques.

Done with such a slightly quaint preface, I will say that I’m intrigued as to how or why Tobi obtained Obito’s eye.  I get it’s a Sharingan.  If I saw one myself, I’d pick it up and put it in my forehead to look like motherf*cking Tien Shinhan from Dragon Ball.  Out of all the Sharingan Tobi could have obtained in history, I wonder why he decided to pick Obito’s and test it and use it up until now.  He didn’t know the Sharingan’s great potential yet…  or maybe he did if a young Kakashi used the Sharingan with exemplary skill to become the Hero of Sharingan (besides the basic abilities it grants the user).  All of this is really foggy, so I don’t know.

If you wanna get technical, Tobi did say that he got the eye during the Battle of the Kannabi Bridge where Kakashi was made hero.  During the battle of the bridge.  Of the bridge.  If you remember Kakashi Gaiden, Kakashi obtained his Sharingan not during the Battle of the Bridge, but when he and Obito were trying to rescue Rin.  It was after that bittersweet fight that Minato, Rin, and Kakashi moved on to the bridge and destroyed it–the original mission.  And I believe this was the place where Kakashi would have done something marvelous and heroic to be hailed as he was by Konoha, for there was no glory in Rin’s rescue.  Whether spying the battle or disguised as an enemy, Tobi would have then been a witness to Obito’s Sharingan.  Knowing that a non-Uchiha Kakashi wielded it so mightly (I don’t know how much at this point, pretty much in the test-drive period), Tobi may have become interested in the Sharingan and inferred that the other Sharingan was lying around somewhere.  It also seems likely that Tobi was observing them all along, thus learning about their personalities, especially Kakashi’s.  Otherwise, I wonder if there’s a connection between people using an eye from one set of Sharingan eyes.  Again, I don’t know.  Help me out.  And Kakashi, because he is hyperventilating.

I could go on and on with speculations, but I would like to hear you guys.  As far as Naruto’s speech, bleh.  Not worth talking about.  Same old story.  At least I like the continued involvement of the Nine Tails.  But why is Kakashi hyperventilating…?  Due to his guilt or because he knows who Tobi is?  Sh*t.  I don’t know.  Tobi is Obito…  f*ck me, right?  Sorry, kids.  I’m a little drunk.

Last week’s comments recap:
I will just touch on the Second Hokage-being-Tobi hypothesis.  First, it does not make sense because he was Hashirama’s brother, which makes him an enemy of the Uchiha, or at least an enemy of what their leader Madara stood for.  Hell, Tobirama Senju created the Konoha Military Police Force to keep the Uchiha in check–not dead.  Secondly, while he created the Edo Tensei, it is unclear whether he knew what Madara knew about undoing the technique.  Finally, Tobirama was resurrected by Orochimaru to fight the Third Hokage.  Sarutobi sealed away both Hashirama and Tobirama’s souls with the Dead Demon Consuming Seal.  Thus, Tobirama couldn’t have been brought back (unless he had cursed-bit some mofo Oro-style, but we know by timeline extrapolation that Tobi was already active during that time).

Naruto Chapter 596: One Jutsu

Hey, fellow shinobi.  This is my second chapter review, which I am very motivated to write after reading your comments on last week’s post.  This chapter was truly epic, truly memorable.  Once again, Kakashi makes the show.  This character, in my opinion, is the most pivotal in this manga due to his many contributions during and outside of battle.  Kakashi’s brilliant analytical thinking saved Konoha from Pain by testing the limit of his attractive force powers, which ultimately helped Naruto defeat him.  Now, it appears that his analysis of Tobi’s jutsu might lead our heroes to victory.

Last week, we were overcome with bewilderment when we saw that Naruto’s Nine-Tails-mode punch had only made a scratch on Tobi’s mask.  As it turns out, Kakashi asserts that the damage does not correspond to Naruto’s punch and rather seems to have been made by a sharp object.  Now, that makes sense.  Right as he starts deliberating, Bee goes batsh*t crazy to get to the Gedo Mazo, only to be impeded by Tobi’s barrier (“Uchiha Kaenjin”… hmm… Uchiha…).  The barrier burns Bee’s beast-mode hand, and for a moment, I thought, “Sh*t, AMATERASU!”  Thankfully, the fire is put out, and the hand is cool and ready for the team’s next movement.  At this point, attacking the Mazo is out of the question.

Kakashi proceeds to explain his hypothesis.  You know he’s up to something clever and awesome.  What I found interesting is that he said that he has “never heard of Kamui being stopped.”  Unless the translation distorted his utterance, this suggests that Kamui is a technique that people have known about over time, meaning other Sharingan users may have used it as well.  I wonder if Kakashi has read the Uchiha stone tablet.  Before I try to break down the connection between Kamui and Tobi’s space-time ninjutsu, let me continue to analyze the narrative.

Bee sends Kakashi, Naruto, and Gai flying in such a fashion that reminds me of the Powerpuff Girls for some reason (uh… three different hair colors?).  Gai demolishes a huge rock with his kickass nunchucks, fakes to aim for Tobi, and tries to surprise him from behind with a silly taunt.  Tobi grabs the nunchucks, starts to absorb them, and Naruto in Nine-Tails mode attempts to strike him with his Rasengan.  I feel kinda sad about the apparent fate of Gai’s nunchucks.  Anyway, Tobi becomes intangible once again.  Naruto’s Rasengan disappears, which it is later revealed that Kakashi sent it away with Kamui.  Tobi does not perceive that, and seconds later, sh*t happens.  Kaboom.  Tobi’s right arm is damaged (man, really… only his right arm?!).  Tobi then realizes that what happened to his mask earlier was caused by Kakashi’s lightning-infused kunai that had been sucked away by Kamui.  Finally, Kakashi proves his hypothesis and states the theory behind Tobi’s intangibility and space-time migration–both are not separate techniques, but one jutsu.

Let’s analyze Kakashi’s theory behind Tobi’s technique and its connection with his Kamui.  Please follow my bullet-point progression of thoughts.

  • We know that Kakashi’s Kamui sends stuff away to another dimension, and so far, we have not seen it bring anything back.
  • Remember that Kakashi had sent away his kunai to save Naruto when Tobi kicked it in his direction after it had phased through his body.  Whether Kakashi tried to test his hypothesis at that point is not clear.
  • At first, Kakashi is puzzled and does not know that his kunai scratched Tobi’s mask.  This means that he did not purposefully throw his kunai at Tobi at the time of Naruto’s punch, nor bring it back from another dimension.
  • Then, as far as we know, his Kamui can only send stuff away to another dimension.  This brings up this question: How the hell did a kunai in another dimension hit Tobi?
  • Before we answer the former, let’s answer this question: Did Naruto miss hitting Tobi because the latter narrowly dodged the punch by a few millimeters or because Tobi was intangible?
  • Everybody thought Naruto laid a punch on Tobi’s mask, which suggests that they did not see Tobi dodging it in a way.  In addition, if the kunai was able to damage the mask, the super-powered punch should have caused visible damage as well.  It can be thusly inferred that Tobi was intangible.
  • If the kunai caused the scratch at the time of Naruto’s punch, during which Tobi was intangible, it means that the kunai in another dimension was able to interact with Tobi’s body, which was supposedly present and intangible in the real dimension.
  • The new Hatake space-time migration theory states that intangibility and space-time teleportation (of living beings, objects, and self) are connected and produced by the same and only one space-time jutsu.  A corollary to this theory is that both ramifications of the jutsu differ only in its application and share the same alternate dimension.
  • Given the evidence in this chapter, it is safe to conclude that Kakashi’s Kamui and Tobi’s space-time ninjutsu share the same alternate dimension where they send objects away.  Perhaps all space-time techniques share that same dimension.
  • If Kakashi sends stuff to the same dimension (in this case, the kunai and Naruto’s Rasengan), then how does Tobi get hit?  The theory assumes that Tobi’s body is warped to the alternate dimension when it becomes intangible and therefore interacts with anything found in such dimension.
  • In other words, Tobi’s body does not become intangible; it simply goes to another dimension while projecting its image in the real dimension.
  • Thus, when Kakashi sends the attacks away with Kamui, they interact with Tobi’s body in the alternate dimension.  Tobi’s surprised reaction implies that while his body is away, his consciousness remains in the real dimension.
  • Kakashi seems to have no control on the trajectory of the attacks, so that makes me wonder if anything that goes into that dimension will always hit Tobi on random parts of his body when it becomes “intangible.”
  • The theory does not quite explain why the Mazo’s head was not absorbed, except that while Kakashi was absorbing it, Tobi was sending the head back to real dimension or maybe closing the alternate dimension.

Now, I’m just wondering what kind of strategy Naruto, Kakashi, Gai, and Bee will implement based on this theory.  The only thing I can predict about it is that Kakashi will keep using his Kamui, which makes me very afraid for his life.  An amazing idea would be using Kamui on a Tailed-Beast bomb in order to hit Tobi’s warped body with fatal outcome in the alternate dimension.  Maybe send one of Naruto’s shadow clones to bitch-slap Tobi’s warped body?  However, Tobi knows that his jutsu has been analyzed correctly.  How will he respond?  Is Tobi using an advanced version of Kamui?  I have no idea, so, in Kakashi’s words, help me out.

Thanks for reading this review.  I would like to hear your thoughts on the comment section below.  Itadakimasu.

Last week’s comments recap:
Orochimaru’s preference for Sasuke’s body over those of other shinobi is something we do not understand completely (other than the obvious Sharingan and Uchiha body benefits).  We have yet to learn from the events that will follow.  Also, non-Uchiha Sharingan wielders have been able to cast genjutsu with their eyes.  Kakashi did cast genjutsu with his Sharingan on the Root ANBU spying on Naruto, and Danzo used Shisui’s Sharingan to cast genjutsu on Mifune during the Five Kage Summit.  Lastly, based on Kishi’s latest interview, we know that Tobi and Madara know each other and have some sort of relation.  Thus, I think we can say with a high degree of confidence that Tobi is not Obito.

Naruto Chapter 595: Fissure

We have been on an emotional roller coaster in the last few weeks with Kishi.  Yes, damn you, Kishi.  Let’s not hate on the author, as he might pull one of his mind-freaking twists in Naruto’s future.  And then we will all be thankful and understand what’s going on right now (“I see what you did there, Kishi, hehe…”).  Before I commence my rant as the Third Blogkage (Bob -> Sylloge -> Me), let me introduce myself.  My name is…well, you don’t really care what my real name is (Disclaimer: I’m not Madara or Tobi).  For you, I’m Mister_Sensei, a chemistry teacher from Spain.  Hola.  I have been following this website for years and have collaborated a few times with posts.  Those who have been here long enough may remember me as a playboy, potty mouth, pervert, and philanthropist.  I apologize for offending anybody on this site, because I know I have.   So much for my introduction…  I hope you enjoy my reviews so that I can enjoy your comments. (click the photos below for gallery view)  😛

Since many a chapter has gone by without being reviewed, allow me to recall the highlights from the previous two chapters.

  • Chapter 593: Sasuke revives Orochimaru from Anku’s cursed seal in usual nasty fashion.  Just back in the world, Oro does not falter to express his continued pedo/homophilic interest in Sasuke.  His Die-Hard-ness posits the idea that Oro is a much bigger boss than we think.  Who knows everything and where are they gonna meet such individual or entity?  A lot of wild theories out there.  Nothing concrete can be inferred yet.  At least it’s made clear that Sasuke is still a bad boy and, at the same time, proves himself everybody’s pushover once again.  Will Sasuke discover how to obtain the Rinnegan?
  • Chapter 594: The Gedo Mazo eats the Gold and Silver Brothers and a piece of Eight-Tails sushi and consequently starts undergoing its transformation into the Ten-Tails.  Tobi reveals that he only needs a piece of the chakra of  the remaining bijuu in order to revive the Ten-Tails.  Furthermore, he states that the Ten-Tails (as if it wasn’t a helluva deal) is only a stepping stone to achieve his Moon’s Eye plan.  This raises this one question: Why didn’t Tobi start the revival a long time ago, if the full power of the Ten-Tails was never imperative for the success of his plan?  He may have wasted too much time trying to fight Naruto and company.  But in his pride, he thought dealing with the remaining jinchuriki was gonna be a piece of cake.  Hell no.

Now, let’s deal with the current pressing issues.  The effin’ Ten-Tails is about to emerge!  Kurama’s talk had pretty much suggested that if the Ten-Tails is allowed to reform, sh*t will get real.  I honestly don’t think anyone in the contemporary Naruto universe would be able to manhandle such a beast.  However, there is still the possibility that somehow Naruto’s new friendship with the bijuus would have an effect on the personality of the Progenitor.  Or for the believers in a united Naruto-Sasuke combo, their joined forces, eyes and will of the Sage of the Six Paths, would be able to control it.  This speculation could hold if Naruto’s link to the Senju clan could be confirmed more directly and if Sasuke becomes a “good” boy.  I have a feeling that the real Madara will come to poop Tobi’s party.  This would be an interesting encounter with much to reveal.  It has to take place.  Wondering how immortal Madara’s power would measure up to the Ten-Tails…

Attempting to prevent the worst case scenario from coming to fruition, Naruto, Kakashi, Guy, and Bee struggle to get their hands on the ever slippery and elusive Tobi.  This was a nice tactical battle against Tobi.  Naruto charges forward with a plan in mind (quite relieving), Kakashi stands back with Eight-Tails-mode Bee to analyze the situation, and Guy whips out his cool nunchucks.  I gotta give it to Guy.  His usual dim-witted and clumsy comic relief  was absent in this chapter.  While he didn’t show his spades of raw physical power, he showed some serious, classy, perfectly and timely executed movements, especially with his nun-chucks.  I love when Guy has such a badass-itude.  I must note something about Tobi’s gunbai (war fan): it is a kickass weapon.  It’s capable of deflecting a Nine-Tails-mode Rasengan, cutting rocks, serving as a shield/sword…  Geez…  I want a damn fan like that one.

At the center of the strategy lies division general Kakashi, who tries to use his powerful Mangekyou Sharingan.  I’m a hardcore Kakashi fan, and as such, I must admit every time he uses his last resort jutsu, I get worried.  He had been fighting the Seven Swordsmen of the Mist, used his lightning jutsu God knows how many times, sustained a nearly fatal abdominal wound, made shadow clones, and fought the bijuu in humanoid form face to face, let alone his prolonged Sharingan wielding throughout this war.  He certainly has been drained of a lot of chakra.  I wonder how long he can keep it up.  His assessment of the situation was correct: take out the Mazo by the head with his inescapable Kamui.  Nonetheless, it couldn’t be that easy, classic in manga.  Tobi seems to have done something to counter the time-space warp.  This brings us back to a previous Tobi-Kakashi encounter when the former told the latter using Kamui on him would be ineffective.  I believe it most likely has to do with the particular time-space ability of Tobi’s Sharingan, not the Mazo.  By the looks of it, Kakashi has an idea of who Tobi is.

After a masterful intervention by Kakashi with his Raikiri kunai and Kamui, Naruto manages to lay a punch on Tobi’s materialized face.  Much to the Konoha trio’s dismay, Naruto’s Nine-Tails-mode strike does nothing more than leave a slight fissure on Tobi’s mask.  If you all recall Naruto’s accidental head-to-head collision with Tobi,  Tobi had mentioned that his mask was made of materials suited for war. What the hell is that sh*t made of?!  And why is Tobi so resilient to physical attacks?  The recent accounts imply that Tobi has a very strong reason to conceal his identity.  Should the mask be dismantled, perhaps they can crack a strategy against Tobi based on his actual identity.  I think this current battle will lead to the discovery of his identity.  But now, what do we do about the emerging Ten-Tails?

The recent events have resurrected a much debated and formerly rejected theory: Tobi is Obito.  After what has been happening, it would be unfair to dismiss all the Obito allegations in light of the apparent implications.  To be fair with everybody, let me break down both schools of thought.  First, I will give you some chronology.

  1. First Shinobi World War:  The Five Great Nations take serious damage.  The First Hokage tried to balance the power among the nations by dividing the bijuu.  Unfortunately, each nation’s greed for more bijuu power precipitated the war.  The known characters involved in the conflict are the Second Hokage (KIA–killed in action) and his young promise shinobi squad, comprised of Sarutobi, Danzo, Kagami Uchiha, Torifu Akimichi, Homura Mitokado, and Koharu Utatane.  Sarutobi is named the Third Hokage.
  2. Second Shinobi World War:  The young Sannin–Tsunade, Jiraiya, and Orochimaru–fight against the atrocious Hanzo who spares their lives.  It is during this time that Jiraiya meets and trains Nagato and company in war-torn Amegakure.  Sakumo Hatake makes himself the famous Konoha’s White Fang.  Tsunade’s brother and her lover Dan are both killed during this war, yet she rises to fame as the best medical ninja.
  3. Third Shinobi World War:  This is the time when the Kakashi Gaiden series takes place.  Minato Kamikaze becomes Konoha’s new hero–the Yellow Flash.  He leads a team of preteen shinobi, Kakashi, Obito Uchiha, and Rin.  And we all know the story.  Itachi is affected by the war and grows to loathe it.  An orphan Kabuto is found on the battlefield and taken into an orphanage.  Also during this time, Yahiko founds Akatsuki with Nagato and Konan and leads the resistance against the still lingering Hanzo.  Danzo assists Hanzo against Akatsuki.  Yahiko sacrifices himself for his friends.  And Pain is born.
  4. Fourth Shinobi World War:  The current.  No need to write about it.
  • There’s one event I want to mention, which might be pre-Fourth War.  That is the rule of the Fourth Mizukage under Tobi’s control.  During this time, Kirigakure was known as the Bloody Mist.  A very young Zabuza Momochi emerged as a vicious killer and grew up wanting to overthrow the Mizukage at all costs.  It is unclear whether this spell belongs in the Third Shinobi War.  If Zabuza has the same age as Kakashi, the answer would be yes, and this may have started to take place sometime between the Second and Third Wars.

As it is far easier to refute arguments than support them, let me start by saying that believing that Tobi is Obito would be incorrect because this assumption does not match the aforementioned chronology.  Why the mismatch?  It seems reasonable to assume that Tobi must have met/known/come from Madara.  It is still unknown how long Madara lived after his skirmish against Hashirama before the First War.  Since Tobi told Konan he had given the Rinnegan to Nagato, who had such eyes when he met Jiraiya during the Second War, the possibility of Tobi-Obito could be ruled out.  Obito was not born yet and maybe was too young to act as a major villain (bitch please, you must have never washed his sh*t*y diapers…).  However, we don’t know whether Tobi speaks of his actions as his own or on behalf of Madara.  Still, Tobi’s encyclopedic wealth of knowledge suggests he’s been around for a long time and knows his shinobi history very well.  Furthermore, we know that Obito’s right eye was crushed by a boulder, possibly beyond repair.  Half of his body was already butcher’s ground beef, and the rest became so as well after the cave collapsed.  Madara must have lived long enough (up to freaking Kakashi Gaiden) to meet Obito or find his body.  Unlikely.  Plus, if the Bloody Mist chronology assumption is right, Tobi was already around going about his business before and/or during Obito’s short tenure with Team Minato.  Above all else, if I were to pick an Uchiha from the entire clan, I would get myself some real badass, like an almost KIA Uchiha that could be deemed deceased by Konoha.   Obito’s Sharingan potential was also completely unknown at the time.  I’m sure more reasons to refute this theory can be regurgitated the more you dig in the old manga.   One more, isn’t it really unbelievable that Obito would have outgrown Kakashi and the others and almost outperformed the Fourth Hokage if he was Tobi during the Nine-Tails attack?  Talk about some serious Zetsu steroids.

Now, the underlying dissonance proves to be the fact that Tobi appears to know Kakashi and Guy.  We don’t know yet in what capacity. Not only does it seem like Tobi knew and followed them over the years, but also it is implied that both Kakashi and Guy have seen his face before.  Some people have been saying that Tobi says Guy does not remember faces because he saw his battle against Kisame through his Zetsu camcorder.  Stemming from Zetsu’s recording ability, the possibility that Tobi has been observing people’s movements through the years proves very appealing.  What a voyeur if you ask me.  Anyhow, the issue is that the only familiar Uchiha that could have known Kakashi (very closely) and Guy was Obito.  Kakashi’s expressions and unfinished thoughts give us a sense of personal familiarity with Tobi.  Moreover, we see that Kakashi’s Kamui is countered with what appears to be another jutsu of some sort.  If Sasuke’s and Tobi’s quenching of Amaterasu flames has told us anything, we could say that Kamui was countered by means of Tobi’s Sharingan, believing the thesis that Sharingan cancels samel-level Sharingan.  The wild hypothesis that has been proposed lately is that the technique of a unique set of Sharingans can only be countered by the same eyes, such as Sasuke putting out his own flames (but then you wonder about Tobi and Itachi’s Amaterasu trap).  Thus, if this is true, only Obito’s right eye could effectively negate the effects of his left eye in Kakashi’s possession.  I don’t really know.  Should this be true, Kishi better provide sufficient explanation.  And Obito, man…  what a sh*t*y friend.  Kakashi would have wasted his years in regret and sorrow for his friend.

My opinion:  If it is indeed an Uchiha we know, I think this would be Kagami Uchiha from the Second Hokage’s team.  He would fit the timeline.  However, if he was still alive before the Uchiha massacre, he would have been as old as Sarutobi.  I don’t know how that would justify any relationship with youngsters like Kakashi and Guy back then.  In addition, he has not been a major player in Naruto.  We don’t know anything else about him.  But he fits the timeline, and coupled with Zetsu-camcorder, he may have been able to follow people’s actions closely.  In the end, doesn’t Tobi want to control people with Tsukuyomi?

Sorry for the long review.  It is my first one, and I thought it’d be nice to tackle long-talked-about theories.  I know everybody has been longing for a review.  See ya ’round!  Itadakimasu.

3rd Great Ninja War Vs. 4th Great Ninja War

Hello everyone! Welcome to my latest installment of VS. This is a subject that I haven’t given a lot of consideration to but with the end of the ninja war looking closer than ever I think it’s time to open up conversation about it. The legends we were told about the 3r ninja war were nothing short of whimsical. All out wars dragging in adults and children alike; forcing them to live a life truly becoming of a ninja. People were dying, orphaned children were common, and betrayal became as reoccurring as a morning breath of fresh air….If said breath isn’t taken from you by an enemy’s kunai. The point I’m trying to make was that legends were born from the 3rd ninja war. Kakashi redeemed his father’s name, The Yellow Flash single-handedly took town a battalion of soldiers and the future 4th Raikage took on naruto’s father and settled the debate once and for all of who was the faster ninja. Although peace was granted at the end of it (as peaceful as a ninja life could be) the 4th great ninja war was inevitable. This war brought with it an unprecedented twist. The same ninja’s whose ancestors were born programmed to spill each other’s blood, was now trading in their feuds for an alliance unlike anything seen in ninja history. Bridges have been built, Ninjas have made names for themselves once again and last but not least the rise of a new yellow flash has blessed this battlefield.This week’s VS. Topic is simply this. Which ninja war in the end will be more impactful? I actually love everything about the 2nd great ninja war. It personifies what I love about the series. Thought provoking moral choices, the importance of understanding and respecting your fellow-man and discovering just how powerful never giving up truly is.

But now it’s up to you guys! Give me your input on the topic and don’t forget to vote! Voting as since closed on the other two VS. Topics and I have to admit the results were surprising. Feel free to check out the older posts to see if your predictions on their outcomes came true!

Brains Vs. Brawn

Hey everyone Sylloge here and I’m bringing with me a new compilation of blog posts that I’m going to do bi-weekly called VS. The premise of the series is basically fusing my hyper-competitive spirit with my love for all things Naruto. To view a basic set-up of how a normal V.S.  post will be please refer to the “Naruto V.S Shippuden” post.

Ok we’ve all pretty much seen just how epic the Naruto fights can get. From pseudo-Super Sayan abilities to strategies so complex it’ll make a PHD graduate faint. My question is this: Would you prefer a Naruto fight with “the biggest justu wins” or a “whose the better chess player” fight. Let me give you a few examples.

We can use the Naruto VS. Orochimaru  fight to showcase the “biggest justu wins” scenario.The whole fight lived and breathed on who had the most over the top justu. Columating with a kamehameha/hadouken/epic beam that put a scar on the earth so big it would have made Goku fly from his universe in search of a fight. (lol yes I know it’s a Tailed beast  bomb)  Honestly, this fight was  just ok for me. Story wise I got to see Naruto roll with the big dogs and It wasn’t just him being backed up by the team or some kind of story breaking loophole. It was straight one-on-one god level fighting.

For the “whose the better chess player” We will refer to the Kakashi/Team 10 Vs. Hidan/Kakuzu. In true Shikamaru fashion this fight (arguably) was over before it stared. From the harvesting Kakuzu’s blood to “kill” him to the building of a grave just for Hidan, they were technically doomed from the start. These are the type of fights I seem to be partial to. It really makes me feel the ninja aspect of naruto more then anything else in the show.Ok ladies and gentlemen its voting time! Just like before if you have a comment or a change you’d like to implement I’ll add another column just for you.

P.S Voting for the Naruto Vs. Shippuden will end this Wednesday so if you haven’t voted do so A.S.A.P!