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Naruto 637 Discussion: Become Hokage & Get All The Bitches… or Become Judas

“Fuck. Fuck! Fuck, fuck, fuck, and fuck! Fuck, fuck, and bugger! Bugger, bugger, buggerty, buggerty, buggerty, fuck, fuck, arse! Balls! Balls, fuck, fucketty, shit, shit, willy! Willy, shit, fuck, and tits.” Let’s begin breaking down this chapter.

Obito becomes the main and most powerful villain of the series

For obvious reasons, this has become a reality. I’m very disappointed, like many of you, because I not only failed to predict Obito’s imminent death but also have to behold such a horrible plot twist. Obito himself becomes the Jinchuuriki of the Ten Tails. Come on now, how can you possibly pull this shit after suffering (and somehow surviving) a fatal Raikiri blow to your most vital thoracic organs, being controlled by Madara Fucking Uchiha’s chakra for his revival, and getting your upper torso sliced by your own badass sensei, the 4th Hokage? It ain’t make no fucking sense. You’d think that sealing the Juubi, far larger and more powerful than any of its constituent beasts, into a human body would take a major sacrifice/effort/chakra reserve/health/amount of time by the jutsu performer. Not only that, but you also have to take into account the sometimes uncertain compatibility of the host for the beast. Let’s fucking rationalize:

-Obito’s willpower to revive Rin in his fantasy world (which makes me wonder, why didn’t he force Nagato to revive her with the Rinnegan to begin with).
-Obito’s half Senju and half Uchiha body is compatible with the Juubi and genetically comparable to the Sage of the Six Paths
-Obito’s Rinnegan has, somehow, the power to facilitate the process (???)
-Obito had planned this all along, perhaps a long time before this war or even Akatsuki and had prepared for such an occasion

In light of Obito’s injuries, it is very unbelievable that he could have the strength and stamina to fight Madara’s control, without the latter noticing the resistance. It is very much unbelievable that Madara would lose to such a punk far below his level and Hashirama’s, a punk beaten by Kakashi in a sparring match. He wasn’t dead after Minato sliced him??? Fuck it. Let’s move on.

All of this leaves us with the reality that Obito is now the most powerful villain and ninja in the series. A punk ass motherfucker who is just an emotional wreck over a 13-year-old girl named Rin who didn’t give a rat’s ass about him, that was only a teammate, never actually a close friend (or a friend at all, IMO). I understand the depression and adverse reactions of other villains, and even protagonists, in the series, who suffered serious losses/tragedies in their lives (Kakashi: father’s suicide, Orochimaru: parents’ death, Naruto: orphan and rejected by village, Sasuke: clan’s extermination by his brother, Madara: brother’s death and clan’s rejection, Zabuza: atrocities of Mizukage, etc.). To me this guy is just a 29 or 30-year-old pedophile who was never suited to become a ninja, who could only masturbate to a flat-chested chick despite hanging around a fully-grown hottie like Konan. This guy could never move on. And somehow this idiot is now the most powerful being on earth.

I don’t know how they will take him down. Maybe a Madara/Hashirama/Kages truce partnership as some suggested? My sense is that Obito is going first kill all the shinobi right then and there, no hesitation. If such is the case, the only way out for everyone would be Minato’s Flying Thunder God technique. Minato could teleport Obito/Juubi to another part of the world, wherever he’s got his mark far away from the shinobi and other peoples. His mark is already on Obito (which we learned is permanent, fucking badass), so this punk can’t really escape immortal Edo Tensei Minato. I wonder whether the Juubi minions have also disappeared along with the main body and were sucked into Obito’s body. I wonder what’s gonna happen to Kakashi, who almost got himself killed for nothing, if he isn’t gonna die (he has to see his sensei again), in the alternate dimension. Anyway, we’ll see.

Sad Minato

The 4th Hokage experienced what appears to be the curse of the greatest lineage of ninja squads in Konoha’s history. One of his former students came out twisted and rotten. Tobirama, Danzo. Hiruzen, Orochimaru. Jiraiya, Nagato. Kakashi, Sasuke. Minato, Obito. Regardless of his feelings and to test out his assumption, Minato quickly “flies” to attack and discover that the masked man he had fought years ago was his supposedly deceased student Obito. What I admire about Minato, furthering his badassery, is that he coolly makes the decision to execute a former friend for the greater good. And he does so fatally, without hesitation, as brutal as possible in the moment, even to the surprise of the usually nonchalant Sasuke Uchiha. However, his effort was useless in the end. The funny note of the chapter is Minato’s obscene, I thought, recommendation to Obito: we’ll become Hokage and get all the bitches.

Minor Points

-Hiruzen was the only former Hokage that didn’t make any clones. He wasn’t even shown at all in the chapter. I think he might be up to something, such as waxing Enma’s diamond-rod, if you know what I mean. Seriously, he might be up to something.

-What are the clones made by Tobirama doing? Where did they go?

-What is Madara Uchiha going to do now? I find it hard to believe that he doesn’t have something up his sleeve. He doesn’t look frustrated at all. Maybe he just wants to enjoy the destruction Obito will cause, or he doesn’t think Obito will survive being the host of the Juubi. I don’t know. I guess he is just relieved to know that now he can fight Hashirama to his heart’s content and for eternity.

-Pain/Six Paths rods beating Sasuke’s Susanoo arrow??? WTF. How is this even possible? I expected some minor deflection, but not such a stout block of the attack. Why didn’t Sasuke use his long-distance Chidori or Amaterasu?

-Naruto’s bickering at Sasuke??? That was completely unnecessary (it’s Naruto, tell me about it). Of course, Sasuke would take off to quickly attack Obito and prevent everybody’s demise from happening. I wonder if Naruto wants to turn Obito into a good guy, the killer of Neji and numerous other shinobi. Naruto, this is no orphan Nagato from war-stricken Amegakure. This is a punk MOFO. And this would be the slim chance for Sasuke’s Hokage candidacy. Whenever it is needed most, Naruto will try to reason with the villain at the expense of countless shinobi fodder, while Sasuke will coldly do what he must and take out the threats permanently. The shinobi will look down upon Naruto for his forgiving attitude and hail Sasuke for taking immediate action. I think that’s how it could go down. But KiSHITmoto does whatever he wants.

-My Fellow Judas: Does this foreshadow Sasuke is still a traitor?

-Naruto’s words at the end of the chapter suggest that he might have known about Obito’s intentions all along because he could sense them in Tailed Beast mode. How long ago did he know about that, we might not know. But I certainly hope that he didn’t know a while back, when it would have been crucial to tell everyone what just took place in this Rin-fapping chapter. I’m not liking both the main protagonist and the, I guess, official main antagonist of the series. Obito “Punk Pussy” Uchiha.

Take it easy, folks.

Bitch Please Minato

27 Responses

  1. lot of things to happen.. hope that it wont continue to ruin this manga…

  2. Bravo! Excellent review of this abysmal manga. Naruto totally sucks thanks to this arc. It sucks so bad that I will continue reading it every week.

  3. “We”ll become hokage and get all the bitches”

    That shit cracked me up xD

    It seems to me lately kishi is hell bent on creating plot twists and doing the least thing people expect every chapter, even if it’s shitty.

  4. Well done mistersensei, not so much for Kishi.

  5. @kyle
    Why not use your last Alias Kurt?? or are you just to scared to let someone know what you real alias is??

  6. im beggining to think naruto fans are a bunch of spoilt children. naruto was never the best thing invented since life so please stop attacking kishi. you try telling a weekly complex story for more than a decade and see what happens. he’s just one man, and he uses all kinds of deep personal story telling, and just like evryone else, he doesn’t know everything, so he wont always be able to give us what we want. added to that, we are not at the end of the manga yet so we dont know the full story, so why rant like a bunch of internet trolls on youtube, hating on everything visible?

  7. @madara that’s part of the problem…. Kishi appears to be milking this far beyond what it should have been. If kishi wants to continue the story he’s gotta make it worth while and not just bs it and expect ppl to accept it. Naruto part 1 I would argue one of the better manga goin easily. Kishi decided to pus naruto past its expiration date so y shouldn’t readers show their displeasure when it’s bad story arc after bad story arc? It’s not our fault he has been writin naruto for so long….

  8. kishi isnt milking anything, the fans want more, so they get more. dbz was to end b4 goku became an adult, even one piece was to end a long time ago. these ppl hav to sign contracts, nd contracts dont end when the signee wishes, so if ur going to be angry, point ur anger away frm kishi

  9. So if we are angry about the mangas sloppiness, lack of plots, countless horrible “twists”, useless war arc we should point out anger away from the writer who’s job it is to either continue to make quality manga or end it? People wanting more doesn’t mean kishi has to do it nor does it mean to just mail it in.

  10. And at least one piece is still putting a quality product out. Naruto is starting to become dare I say it boring. This war arc is bring, Edo tensei was spammed to the point of its coolness and uniqueness being thrown out the window, Tobi being obito was by far one of the silliest things I have read in a manga in ages ( I mean honestly how many people were pumped to see it was obito? I’m willin to bet 99% of the naruto verse was either scratching their head or throwing their computer out the window). It’s one thing to go too Long it’s another to throw out a bad product that has been going downhill since the pein arc

  11. guess i should repeat that the man is contracted to continue naruto. quite frankly i was never a tobi/obito fan and love pein crazy n wish he was still around, but just because things dont go hw i want it, im going to get mad and complain n complain n complain? i dnt read one piece n as far as i kno, its got a lot of dbz-esque comedy eliments, so its under less pressure nd rarely digs deep into psychology. there was never any supremely original plot elements in naruto from the beggining, so idk why now when its a lot less alien to us, you’d expect that type of thing

  12. That’s just it its not that people aren’t getting it the way they want; it’s the fact kishi seems to be uninspired or flat out lazy. His writing now is far less than even part 1 and just cause he’s under contract doesn’t mean anything at all. He wasn’t forced to sign it so the fact that he did means there should be some accountability on him to put ou a good product. When sales r down and numerous sites and people are saying it feels like kishi is slacking that shows its not just those on the forum that notice it. And btw he should take notes on full metal alchemist; that manga from start to finish was one of the most well written mangas I have read and it was a good length and the author knew when to stop as how to tie up loose ends. Kishi should take notes

  13. It’s ironic that u are complaining about people complaining about kishi ad the state of naruto…. Since when is it bad that people can notice a lazy or un original product when they see it?

  14. thats what critics are for. you ppl arent acting like critics, u just complain non stop cos yall placed kishi as a god n nw u see that he’s human, ur upset. its not even like u ppl are spending much if any money on the damn manga, so u got no right to talk abt sales. we’re pretty much pirates freely enjoying the products of a ligitimate bussiness while complaining abt bad customer service. if it wasnt for the internet, even one piece could be selling four times, what its selling now

  15. lol you all sound like a naruto chapter

  16. Rofl if kishi is a god than we wouldn’t trash him. Madara ur the one that thinks kishi is gold and got ur feelings hurt with ppl complaining about kishi. His manga sucks right now, his twists r horrible etc its ok for ppl to complain about it. Bleach and one piece r free too but unlike naruto they r consistent. Naruto is becoming almost a joke

  17. If u don’t wanna hear ppl complain about it just dont read the complaints. It’s really easy to do

  18. shows how childish n spoilt u are. u tellin sum1 top stop reading complaints if they dont like them, yet u dont like what ur seeing in the manga AND YET STILL UR READING IT

  19. Haha get em madara. You cry baby’s need to shut up and go read some DBGT. That’ll make you mad. I personally still like naruto no matter how “shitty” everyone else thinks it’s getting. What other manga right now is making ninjas go hard right now.
    All this complaining and you know Damn well yall gonna read this shit til the end.

  20. Lol I read cause I’m hoping it changes. Nice try at a coneback but that literally has no relation to the argument and its sad u have to try and go there. I read the manga cause hopefully it gets better. U read the complaints and complain about ppl complaining cause u for some odd reason got butt hurt by it… U dont like the complaining dont read it. It’s a simple solution that I’m not sure u r comprehending.
    Btw dragon ball gt isn’t a manga rofl…. The quality of argument is going down hill. Madara complains about complainers and some guy thinks dbgt was a manga…. Dbgt was made with no manga references and is in fact not a manga. Nice try though

  21. @nig right now there r zero ninja manga going hard cause kishi is screwing up naruto

  22. Quit it, You making BIG MAGNUM look bad Madara_Uchiha.

  23. lol they really are cry babies

  24. CHAPTERS ARE OUT EARLY THIS WEEK GUYS!!!

    NEW NARUTO CHAPTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    http://www.mangareader.net/naruto/638/3

  25. lol silly madara. sigh o well

  26. Sooooo not alot happened this chapter….Obito now looks like an emo mosquito with legs an tattoos on his back an Hashi seems a little upset that he is no longer top shinobi, oh an Maddi has a trump card – wonder what it could be?! The SOSP favourite stick perhaps?

  27. I hate how entitled and whiny the fans of Naruto are

    its so damn annoying

    also new chapter is pretty rad I like 6 Paths Obito and his super creepy vibe

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