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The New Akatsuki: Battle under the Clouds

Ryu here back with a big match up. The Raikage vs Killer Bee. Nuff Said. Hope you enjoy this battle. Also because I used The Raikage’s real name A it will be in bold lettering to distinguish him from being random letter A’s within the story and Bee’s rhymes are off and messy just how I image a bad rapper. So you may or will have to take your time to see the message in the corny rhymes.  So on with the fight. Ding ding


Kumogakure: beneath the Raikage’s office.

Shikamaru is leaning against a wall thinking to himself of the situations when Temari comes walking towards him.

Temari speaks to him, “You finally were able to save me for once. So now we’re even right? You don’t owe me nor do I owe you.” She stops and smiles when he looks up with an uninterested look on his face.

“Why are women so troublesome? Always have to make situations into some kind of competition not thinking of the true consequences we are facing now.”

Not realizing he was saying this out loud and with every female in hearing distance. Shikamaru looks around to see every female looking his way furiously.

“What did you just say?” All females say in unison.

“I…… I think I hear Neji calling.” Shikamaru says as he sneaks pass the furious females to Neji’s location.

Once he gets next to Neji he looks at his comrade and can tell something is wrong.

“What’s going on Neji? You look even more serious then usual. Last time I seen a face like this on you was during the Chunin Exams. What’s wrong?

“I need to speak to that man.” Neji answers.


“The Raikage.”

“Why is that?”

“Remember 13 years ago one of their ninjas tried to take Hinata when she was 3?”

“Yeah I remember you talking about that during the exams”

“Because of this my father was……”

BOOOMMMM!!! A loud explosion above them erupts interrupting everyone conversations.

“What the hell is going on up their?” Kuraii asks out loud looking at the “Visitors”.

“Don’t look at us, we’re not up there.” Kankuro quickly answers as everyone prepares to fight one another when suddenly two figures fall from the shattered window and land with such force a dust cloud forms covering the two figures.

Darui says as he seems to recognize this. “Everyone stand down it is only the Raikage and Lord Killer Bee fighting again.”

The dust cloud disappears showing the Raikage and Killer Bee facing each other.

“So you wanna agree with and come to the rescue of this Konoha Dogs and Sand Fleas.” A furiously asked Killer Bee.

“Dogs are loyal to their pals bro,  Flea attach to dogs naturally so,  Insult them wont work unless it’s proven the most. Damn right!” Killer Bee says raising his hand in the air with the bull horn sign up.

“You and your ridiculous rhymes are getting on my nerves.“

The Raikage rushes his little brother and with his real fist throws a punch at Killer Bee. Bee spits ink at his brother’s eyes. A dodges the black projectile and connects with Bee’s cheek sending him rolling down the village road. Once A caught up to his recovered brother, the two brothers’ trades blows though the village streets. Every ninja and villagers within view stop to see what was happening.  When they noticed it was the Raikage and Killer Bee, they went about their business as it was a normal thing within the village. Once at the village edge A throws a powerful punch but Bee dodges, flips on his hand, and mule kicks A into the air. Bee jumps into the air and again kicks A which sends him flying over the closest cliff edge down the mountain side.  Killer Bee jumps over the edge and follows his falling brother.

“What in the hell is going on.” Ten Ten asks as herself and Lee look to see Kakashi and Gaara looking out the broken window.

“So what do you think of this situation?” Gaara ask

“I seriously think this may go in our favor but I think we may need to get down there before they kill each other.” Kakashi says as he looks at the crowd below

R.A (Raikage’s Assistant) walks in. “No worries gentlemen, this type of think happens a lot. No need to worry.”

However both Kages feel that they may not know the two brothers but this here does not fell like a simple sibling spat. Gaara uses his sand to create a floating platform

“Kakashi-san we can get down there faster this way”

Kakashi and R.A step on and float down to where everyone else was waiting.

Back in the office Samehada lays on the ground and Kisame’s says “Well things seem to be getting very interesting. Just need to wait for the right time. Heheheheh”

Down below.

Killer Bee and A are falling down the mountain side. A is in a backwards free fall while Bee line dives towards his brother. When Bee gets close and before he can react, A quickly grabs his little brother’s scarf, spins Bee below him, and uses Bee as a platform. He jumps off Bee towards the mountain and using chakra control, sticks the mountain side. Bee now in a free fall talks the beast within.

“Hey partner, it’s time to go all out. Time to show this muthaf**** how we roll.”

“Are you sure? The last time we went all out he kicked our butt all over the island.”

“Yeah that’s true to you,  but we had just become partners my dude.  So let’s do this and kick his ass,  show him this time we are in another class.”

Just as Bee is about to hit the water below at high speeds his demon cloak begins to engulf him. Bee hit the water and created a back gusher so high it even touched the position A had landed at earlier. A jumps down and lands on the shore side.

“I know you’re not dead so get your ass out here.” The Raikage calls out

The water begins to bubble and violently Hachibi rises out of the water and faces the Raikage.

“So are you going to go there little brother? So be it.”

Hachibi roars at A and sends a tentacle flying towards him. The Raikage dodges the limb by speeding forward towards the beast. Hachibi sends his right claw at A. A jumps into the air and with his iron fist punch the Eight Tailed Beast in the face with such force from his super strength it sends Hachibi flying back into the deep water. However another tentacle hits A from the back as Hachibi falls in the water sending him against a mountain side. A lands, shakes off the pain and waits for the Hachibi to rise again. Once it raises again The Raikage with him super strength punches the edge of the water creating a speeding giant wave heading towards the beast. Suddenly he quickly uses a one handed hand signs for a lightning technique and places his hand into the water.

“Raiton: Lightning Tsunami Surge.”

Lightning chakra quickly flows from his hand into the giant wave heading straight for Hachibi. It hits with such force and the lightning mix into the water seriously hurts and paralyzes the tailed beast as it falls back it the water and sinks to the bottom of the sea.

“You still not ready to fight me. That wasn’t even half my power Bee.” A says

The eight tailed beast reappears.

Inside Bee’s mind, the partners beings to conversant again.

“He’s still to fast for me and I’m too bulky. You need to face him yourself.” The beast speaks

“Man I thought you were ready but that cool partner, He has way too much experience fighting you.  I‘ll take him out but I will still need your help.” Bee replies.

“You got it.”

Hachibi begins to shrink until Bee is standing on the water.

A asks “So you’re going to tell me why you’re not on the way to the island? I order you to leave days ago. But for some reason no one could find your ass.”

“Well Big Bro, I was around when that boy like me showed up, Tried to get you to back off, I respect him for coming to you, but your hard head keeps you from seeing the truth, So I had to stay, just encase I had to be the one to set you straight.”

“The truth? You know nothing of what is happening out there do you. I am trying to protect you and get that bastard for what he did to us.”

“I don’t care what he did. I’m still live, and the party is still kicking. So get over it.”

“Hell no. You are in the way and I will beat you as I will beat any foe that puts their smug ugly mug in front of my Iron fist. I will crush it.”

A starts to reuse his Lightning Tsunami Surge but Bee is on to him before he can even begin.

“You muthaf*****, we’re from the same woman. How can you, call me ugly fool.”

Bee runs along the water and grabs two of his seven swords from their scabbards.

“Hey man. We may be affiliated with Lightning Chakra but you remember that old saying son? Lightning doesn’t strike the same spot twice.” Bee yells out.

Bee jumps onto a mountain side avoiding the attack and launches of the rocky side at his brother. He lands in front of A and begins to swing what at first seems very wild-like but soon A realizes that Bee is pushing him somewhere as he uses his iron fist to block every attack Bee swings. Bee can tell his brother is trying to figure out his plan. “I see, you thinking too much. You won’t figure this out son.”

Bee jumps into the air and throws his first two swords at A. The Raikage dodge them but before he can counterattack Bee launches two more at A’s other side. He dodges backwards only to have two more land behind him. A heads forward only to look up and see Bee coming down at him with an overhead stab attack.  A jumps back and stands as his little bro still kneels next to his swords beginning a hand signs.

“I got your ass,  You fell for it like a bird and clear glass,  That’s why your ass is watery grass.“

He places his hand on the sword hilt and yells.

“Raiton: Lightning Steel Cage Trap”

Lightning chakra starts to encircle the Raikage using the swords thrown earlier as a conductor. A sees this and notices he is standing in shallow water. Then from each hilt lightning flows into the air, meeting in the middle above A, and strikes down hitting and electrocuting A creating a cage like lightning trap

“Paybacks a bitch,  Hope this shit,  knocks some sense,  though that thick skin.”

At the top of the village

“So I see that’s what happened? Hmmm Raikage just can’t help himself can he?” Darui say rubbing his head

“Yes it seems. So I think this may be more than brothers fighting over candy and toys. We may have to get down their and stop this if we can.”Kakashi adds.

“That’s the thing,” Omoi interrupts, “once they have a fight it is hard as hell to even get close to them.”

“Well we need to do something. We can’t let family fight over us.” Lee says

Yamato adds. “He’s right. Even if Killer Bee had our best at heart this is something we need to deal. So let’s go.”

Sai pulls out a scroll to use his Transportation Falcons but Gaara stops him.

“I will get us down there.” Gaara says as his sand platform rises from under everyone and floats over the rail and heads down the mountain.

Back to the bottoms.

Raikage is still in the trap as Bee sits and writes in his little notebook.

“That’s sounds good. Gotta keep thinking of s***while his ass is…..Oh about time.” Bee says as he turns and sees A starting to move and lightning chakra begins to flow from his body.

“Now let’s see if this work. Hope you’re ready partner?”

In one swift powerful blast the Raikage pushes the cage trap away with his chakra creating his infamous Lightning Armor.

“You f****** punk. Time your older brother teach you who is the real deal.”

Bee stands with a smile on his face as his canine teeth begins to grow and a red aura glows and grows around Bee.

“So you are really serious about this Bee? Fine I will not kill you because you’re my brother but I will not show you any more mercy.”

“Never ask for your mercy BEEAATCH!”

This angers the Raikage even more. He pushes his armor to its next level. By this time Bee has his demon cloak around him with 7 tails formed.

“So you wanna do it like that? Let do it then. Version 2 Baby!” Bee pushes himself to his 8 tailed beast humanoid form.”

In a low beast like roar says, “Lets get this s*** hopping.”

The brothers charge at each other, and throw a single punch. The collision from the connection to each other fist creates a shockwave so strong that water violently rushes away from their position and even the tightly place rocks and boulders fall from their foundation. Even the others feel the force from their height.

“What the hell is going on? What was that?” Kurai asks.

“That’s the force of a Kage level fighter and a tailed beast fighting.” Yamato says, “This is, as Kakashi sempai said, not a brothers’ spat. This is a real battle.”

As the two battle back and forth down below, A dodges one of Bees punches, sidesteps him and grabs his brother from the side. His Lightning Armor protecting him from the poisonous effect of the demon cloak. Once he had a good grip he lifts Bee in the air.

“Raiton: Thunder Roaring Suplex”

A sending lightning chakra into Bee’s body, paralyzing him, and drive Bee into the shallow watered ground creating a crate. But when the dust settles A sees Bee’s tails had cushioned his fall. Bee quickly pushes off with his tails, flies up and headbutt Raikage sending him several steps backwards.

“Bull Run Headbutt.  Like that bro?” Bee says in his roar like voice.

Bee then swings several tails at A but A catches one and does a giant swing sending Bee into the mountain side. When the dust settles down the mountain side has a hole in the wall but Bee disappeared.

“You really think that hurt?” A voice comes from above.

A looks up and see the beast brother on a nearby cliff but back in his 8 tailed demon cloaked form. “There is something you told me once.  If you can’t trust a man’s words then trust his actions.  I think that fox boy is really ready to deal with that little bitch boy Uchiha.  He came to you,  Told you what he was going to do,  and will show you proof,  but what do you do,  Become a crude and unfair dude,  I understand your will to protect,  but yet,  I must tell you in regret,  That I can take of myself you bet.  So to show you my intent,  let’s finish it, with this last hit.”

A looks up at his brother and realizes he is right but his pride begins to overrule his logical thinking. “You wanna finish this, so be it. Let’s go Killer Bee.”

Bee jumps down, shakes his head. “Guess I have to show you my intent through MY ACTIONS!”

Both stand there staring at each other.

The beast and host talk one last time before Bee makes his move

“Bee, are you sure about this one? If this does not work you will be dead and me…..Well I really don’t know what will happen. If you die I may die or be release and without you I will go on a rampage.”

“Trust me partner.  I got this. He’s my brother,  like not other.  He may be hardheaded,  but his heart is not crusted or breaded.  His heart is big and loving though strict,  that it sometimes makes me sick,  but the trick,  is to show him that with my actions is that I mean it.  I trust he will do the right thing and let Konoha .. no that fox boy do his thing.

The beast smiles and laughs

“HAHAHAHA….That damn Kyubi, always finding a way to mess things up only for someone else to fix it. HAHAHA. Let’s do it Partner!”


Focusing back to the outside world. Bee charges and the Raikage replies by charging himself.

A pushes his Lightning Armor to its max and readies his powerful lariat attack. Suddenly he notice Bee‘s tails disappearing one by one. “What the hell….” he says in his mind. Bee then, all at once with in a few feet of one another, releases his demon cloak.

“No I can’t hit him with this. Is he is willing to give his life up for them?” The Raikage says again to himself

Just before their lariats connect A releases his lightning armor as the two lariats connect with their targets neck and chest areas. Both brothers’ legs come from underneath themselves and they fall on their back into the water and float in a circle of each other.

“You were willing to even die for those….people.”

“No bro I was willing to die for that boy who is ready to do what must be done. He is betting everything on that he can to stop and bring back to justice that little scum bag boy.  So let him be. If he fails then take that bastard Uchiha boy out. But respect his wish first. If every other Kage has too, so should you.”

“Hmmmmm…..” As the Raikage lays and thinks as he sees a float sand thing coming down towards them.

“Here they come.” Bee say looking up a well.

As the sand platform disappears back into Gaara’s gouge everyone stands around and the Cloud ninjas help Bee and The Raikage to their feet. Both bleeding and bruised up. Kakashi walks up to the Raikage. Raikage gets Durai and Omoi to let them down.

“I will not apologize for my actions. I still think you’re still too young to be a Kages, Both of you, but if you both willing to come here and face me in my own village about this situation then I will respect that. And if it was not for my little brother you would not be leave with this notice.”

“What do you mean?” Gaara asks

“I will grant Naruto Uzumaki ‘s wish and remain out of this business for now but if he fails and your village can not handle this then I will intervene and kill Sasuke Uchiha.“

“Thank you Raikage”. Kakashi says

Neji walks up to the Raikage next to Kakashi and speaks. “Excuse me Raikage. May I ask you a question?”

“Hyuga boy do not press your luck. What is it?” The tired Kage says

“Were you the Raikage at the time of the Hyuga incident 13 years ago?”

Silence hit the group until….

“And what if I was, what is it to you?  You what to kill the Raikage you deem responsible of you father’s death Neji Hyuga, Son of Hizashi Hyuga, nephew of Hiashi Hyuga.”

“How did you…..I forgot..intel.” Kakashi says

“Yes I was but I will still say this. I was not responsible for that man’s decision to act out. From what I was told,  My Head Ninja a t the time of the peace talks, wanted your families treasure because it was said the Hyuga’s eyes were just as strong if not stronger then that of the Uchiha’s and wanted to increase our military’s strength but because of peace talks I was not willing to let it happen but once word came down of what he did and your village counsel member insisting I planned it I was not about to be made a fool by this and I was willing to restart this war if some payback was not given and since your uncle Hiashi killed my man I wanted his head. But do to him being head of the main branch and him having a twin brother in the lower branch I knew he would not die. So when your father was killed but word came back later of Hiashi still alive. That is when I knew what happened but even so I left it alone. It was still and Eye for an Eye.”

Neji lowered his head than raised it back up with his Byakugan activated. The Cloud Ninjas readied to attack but the Raikage raised his hand for them to stand down.

“I can not forgive you now for having my clan have my father killed, nor for even asking for my uncle’s death which I know you may not care about and I will never forgive that man for the rift he cause between myself and the main branch but I do understand why and I just wanted to hear it from the mouth of the Raikage himself.” Neji deactivated his eyes and bowed his head. “Thank you for that Raikage.”

Every Konoha ninja could not believe their eyes yet smiled that finally Neji mind was put to rest.

Raikage nodded in agreement then turned to Gaara.

“Boy… I mean Kazekage can you get us back to the top.” Raikage asks Gaara.

“Yes I can. Let’s get to dry land.”

Everyone walked to the nearby shore. Once there Gaara gourd released sand into the ground and a giant platform formed again beneath their feet and begins to take the group of allied ninja back to the top of the highest mountain in Kumo.

“Oh, one last thing Bee.” The Raikage hits his little brother on the head with his good hand. “You will leave for the Island TODAY.”

“Gotcha bro.” Bee says rubbing his head and smiling at his brother.

Kakashi says to himself. “Naruto everything is now up to you. Whatever you do. Make it quick. I got a bad feeling we are in for a real mess real soon.”

Raikage’s Office.

A lump appears on the floor next to Samehada. Zetsu head forms from the lump

“Kisame we came to check on you.” The white side started first.

“So what is going on? Is everything going as planned?” The black side follows

Kisame voice can be heard though the bandage around the swords blade. “A little hic up with Konoha and Suna ninjas showing up. I couldn’t hear their conversation because we were outside and only he could hear but that fool of a beast is fighting the Raikage as we speak in favor of them. But I fell every village will be in tune with each other soon. Just waiting to be taken to this Island everyone keeps hound the beast about.”

“Good well we will be waiting your intel.” White Zetsu response

“Why can’t I take this punk now? You know I could have during that fake battle then. Switching places, I really didn’t see why.” Kisame says

“Whatever Tobi has planned must be big to let him go like that so just be ready when the time comes.” Black Zetsu answers back.

“We are heading back. Do not let him down.” White Zetsu way of says bye.

“Have I ever?” Kisame says as Zetsu disappears and heads back to report.

End of Chapter 15.


Next chapter will be a time skip type of deal that takes place in about a week or two span in my story. Help speed the story along.  So be on the look out. Until Next Time Folks.


26 Responses

  1. Wow. This was supposed to be a fan fic and then it turned out to be riveting, nail biting, and a part of Naruto I think is totally possible. Great job Ryu.

  2. yeah,, really good one man.
    keep up the good work!!!

  3. this sucks major balls ryu… kind of like how your kids suck mine

  4. Great fanfic Ryu!!

    Shut up clutter and stop being an @$$hole. If you don’t like it you could’ve said it in a better way than that.

  5. @ kagamii, Wong Jowo, and Dragon. Thanks for the comments. Wanted it to be a great fight and so far three out of four is a great compliment. Dragon don’t worry about him. It’s not that he doesn’t like it. It’s just this old man here he doesn’t like. I am good now. His comments do not bother me anymore. He can talk about my boys, my wife, my deceased mother for all I care. I don’t care, So don’t entertain him. Ignore him.

    @ clutter.. love you man…No Homo….Thanks for the comment. lol.

  6. no worries, ryu, don’t mention it.

    I feel youre blessed man. youre lucky you mom’s already dead, otherwise you’ll see plain disappointment once she learns her son’s more interested in writing geeky, no-good fanfics when he has a wife and kids to take care of.

    when was the last time you had sex with your wife anyway? i bet you cant even make her cum. are you even aware how girls look like when they reach orgasm? no, your porn collection dont count, theyre just acting.

    I’m sure your boys can do a better job of fucking and making their mom come than their dad. that would be a sight – your kids (one doing your wife in the ass while the other being given a blowjob by wifey; to top it all off your boys are kissing frenchie), behind your back while you type away fanfics)

  7. Clutter got psychological issues. Lol. He talks of Ryu writing Fan Fics and it being a kid thing, but it’s the equivalent of writing summaries of current or past events for the newspaper. Clutter! In the words of Hidan, “Eat a dick.” Haha Hater.

  8. @ Clutter

    LOL….BOY YOU ONE FUNNY LITTLE MUTHA******..LOL.. Keep them cumming..Get it…cumming..LOL…I crack me up sometimes. OH! How you know of my porn collection. You peeping tom. Get out of my closet.

    And again clutter thanks for the comment. you just helping my stat go up. You may have gotten to me in the past but know you just one funny little piece of humor. Give me more insults so I get more stats. Negative publicity is still publicity. Oh did I write it so you couldn’t understand. wait…I….am….writing…it….slow…for…you…Negative…publicity…. is…. still….publicity.

    Kagamii don’t worry, Don’t stunt this little guy. Now a days I laugh at it just as my wife does when she seen this. Again thanks. I make sure the fights will be this epic if not more.

  9. the day I understand the way you write in English Ryu will be the day pigs learn to fly… and I have very great comprehension skills mind you, it’s just that you suck so bad.

  10. Great story ryu. This sounds like a very plausible scenario. I like how u threw neji in behind there and intertwined his storyline. Can’t wait till ur next chapter

  11. btw ryu u and yellow should write a extra chapter since theres no naruto this week

  12. @Token. I see what I can do. thanks for the comments.

    @clutter. LOLOLOLOL LMAO. BOY YOU ARE A FUNNY LITTLE BASTARD. PIGS…SUCK…LOL. if you don’t understand what I write then why are you responding? And I figured out something. You don’t read my stories or anyone else at all except YF2? (What you got a crush on the guy). You just see our avatars and names and write some really funny stuff(rolling of the eyes). Oh yeah tell mommy to let you on the computer more often. You slow at responding lately. I wanna laugh and you taking your sweet ass time. Hurry up and wash them damn dish and take that trash out so you can get more computer time. Oh one other thing. How long did it take for you to figure out who to write “comprehension” or did you copy and paste it off of an online dictionary site. Can’t wait to read what you’re going to say next about me or my family cause all I’m going to do is LAUGH…LOL. Thanks for the comment. Stats up baby!

  13. great chapter ryu. great fight seen. and nice work with clutter he is just immature and has nothing better to do but insult people through fanfiction comments and if he hates them so much why even click on the fanfictions to read them

  14. thanks for the attention ryu, I thought you’re gonna be ignoring me? I guess I really do affect you still. 😛

    “How long did it take for you to figure out who to write “comprehension” or did you copy and paste it off of an online dictionary site.”

    you’re dissing me for spelling when I got it right and while you don’t even know the difference between WHO and HOW. you’re beyond funny.

    @ monkey

    it’s SCENE not SEEN, moron.

  15. @Fuclutter
    Who, How still the same damn letter. I seen mommy let you get some internet time. Finally finish your chorus That is great. I missed you so much…no homo… I see you must have proof read you statement about 10 times before you hit summit. How long does it take for you to read a comment anyway? I wrote that yesterday morning and you just writing back at 3:38. School must have let out early for you. Oh I get it. mommy is at work and so you snuck on her computer after school. Where’s your daddy? WHO’S your daddy. Oh damn you could be my damned bastard I left that woman for. Damn I’m old. LOL…. I can diss you all I want. See you don’t get to me anymore but I see I am getting to YOU…no homo.

    @ Monkey. Scene..seen.. I don’t care. Comments are there for a quick message not a damn story as Fuclutter wants it to be, Thanks for the comment and I will try to have the next chapter out soon.

    Oh yeah Fuclutter (I think you know what that means by now.) If you want another dissing. Capital letters and grammer. are you noneatenpussy? If so I see you don’t get any from you name. Why use that?

  16. Oh yeah I meant you are finish with your CHORES not chorus so before you try to use that Fuclutter. hahahahahahahahahahahahah! Getting on your nerves now? Hope not. I wanna laugh more at your attempts to make me lash out again.

  17. LOL @ chorus! Just when I thought you cant get any more stupid, HAHAHAHA. And this coming from a self-titled WRITER. Wow. if writers are this bad nowadays, just shoot me.

    Seriously man, do you even have a job? How do you feed your family? Of do you guys get by by licking eacih other’s balls? yeah, I think wifey has hairy balls too. There should be about three hidden underneath all those fat.

    I would really like to know what your kids will think of their FANFIC-writing daddy. If I had a father like you, I’d held my breath so long to die.

    Imagine your kids, telling their classmates that their “daddy is a awesome, leet fanfic writer – that’s what he told us!”. That would be pure win, for me of course. What a sad chap.

    See you later shakespeare 2.0. 😛

  18. look clutter if you want to insult people about grammar then maybe look at your own comments. for example look at your insult when you said under all those fat. it would be that fat retard. but then again your insults are stupid and childish as well so why should your writing be any different. oh and by the way if you look carefully you might find that ryu beat you to the punch on his mistake about chores so your insult was pretty useless as usual.

  19. @ Monkey

    Don’t mind my little bastard of a child that would like to commit suicide for some reason. As you can see he can’t take me taking what he throws and just turn it back at him so easy. I’ve been beat him to the punch. As you can see also he not saying anything about all the replies i send other than licking and suck.. He can only make out small words, Has to sound out the big ones. Go get Webster and sit at the computer for hours just to write 3 little sentences. 4 hours for a whole paragraph. You see how he’s writing in CAPITAL letters all of a sudden? LOL.

    @ Fuclutter I like you detective skills Sherlock.
    I think i told you enough about my personal life. I have a 6 to 6 job. 12 hours a days working for the President of the United States. Still have time for your dirty butt, My sexy ass wife and the sons I do take care of. As a matter a fact Cinderalla, Go clean you little brothers along with yours, clean that nasty bathroom of yours, cut that damn grass, dishes, trash, and then I might let you watch your favorite cartoon, that damn Pokemon. Uses of leet, That must have taking all day for you to find that word. Anyway your stepmother says get off the computer or she calling your mommy at telling all the naughty things your saying about her..LOL

  20. “I’ve been beat him to the punch. ”

    “That must have taking all day for you to find that word. ”

    “Go get Webster and sit at the computer for hours just to write 3 little sentences. ”

    little pieces of literary wisdom from the master playwright, ryu. great writing man, keep it up. At this rate you’ll catch up to your kid’s writing skills in, uhm, about two decades. LOL.

    monkey, there’s this figure of speech called hyperbole. Look it up, it’s worth knowing, so next time you wouldn’t make a huge fool out of yourself.

    this is a pathetic community with self-absorbed (so-called) writers who can’t take criticisms. What more if you’re actually able to write? you might have a bigger ego than lebron james and kobe combined (oh right, they’re sports figures so you probably dont know them).

    piss (another word to google for, “homonyms”) out suckers. 😛

  21. There is a big difference from criticism and being a a**hole. Telling people from the start how people (my) kids sucks your balls. Yeah that is criticism. I also noticed again you commented on small stuff, Mr English and Writing Professor. When you put a fanfic or a theory on this site I will show you criticism. But you are a spamming posting groupie that still needs to cut the damn grass for some arcade change. You were one of those kids that get stuffed in lockers between classes. Come home, snick online when mommy not look to vent you frustrations on us. Damn nerds

    “this is a pathetic community with self-absorbed (so-called) writers who can’t take criticisms.” Then why are you even coming to this site my bastard child. We can take criticism. We do not like a**hole middle school or high school anime/video game/comic book nerd comes on the site and bashes people with insults.

    I hope that Webster’s Dictionary is helping you finding all the big words you need. Probably have a thesaurus next to the computer too. As for Piss Out, we see your the one that used google for it. If you want self-absorbed, Get off my outstanding story page. 6 out of 7 people voted. Majority rules. Kick rocks

  22. look clutter what you do is called flaming what the normal commenters on this site do is criticism. and for the final time: if you don’t like the fanfics then don’t fucking read them. you are just a brat who has nothing better to do than flame people’s fanfics. since you seem to have nothing else to do but this, it seems that you are the one who is pathetic. your only goal here seems to be to irritate people on this site. i don’t really understand why you do this because if it’s for fun then you are even more pathetic than i thought. and if you think that i am the one making a fool of myself look at you, no one is impressed by your insults except you okay, so why don’t you get the hell of this site or just stop reading what you don’t like.

  23. and ryu getting back to why all of these posts started great story

  24. Kagamii, wong jowo, Dragon, token, monkeyman, and anyone that read the story and liked it but didn’t leave a comment.


    Be on the look out for Time Skip 1.

  25. @ryu

    This is some good work. I will say Yellowflash2 got you beat but I loved the way you wrote it. I went back and read all the chapters and so far it is a good story through and though. As you can tell I am new here. I like the way you handled that fuck boy clutter. Fuclutter mean fuck clutter. I like that too. 😉

  26. Easily the best part of the story is when the newly introduced character “clutter” starts throwing verbal kunai(don’t know how to pluralize). Do you guys know each other in real life or do you just have problems over a fictional story about an anime? Could you both team up and write a “fanfic” about real life battles between each other instead of writing about fake battles with fake characters in a fake world?

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