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Return the Scroll from the Cicada’s Heart (Part 2)

In our previous chapter: We see team Neji heading in the cicada forest, searching for the Bijuu-mesmerise scroll. But unexpectedly they meet up with foes. Neji confronts Deidara who has come to retrieve the scroll on Pain’s orders. Sakura, Sai, Lee confronts Orochimaru and Kabuto in another part of the forest, whose intentions are not yet known. The thrilling adventure continues.

———————————————————————————————————————————————————————–

Neji: I should be careful not get too close to those explosives.

Deidara: (Prepares small clay grass hoppers in his hand and throws them to Neji) take this!

Neji jumps up and dodges them. The grass hoppers jump on the ground and go towards Neji.

Deidara: Katsu!

Neji: Hakkeshou kaiten!! (the grass hoppers explode in mid air while touching the chakra vortex)

Neji lands on the ground holding his right arm.

Deidara: It seems you dodged my attack with minimum damage. But still you don’t stand a chance against me. Mhmm.

———————————————————————-

Easters part of the cicada forest.

Sakura: haaa!! (charges towards Orochimaru with a chakra charged fist and throws a punch towards his face).

Orochimaru: (Dodges it and jumps towards the left)

Sakura hits the tree behind Orochimaru and causes it to crash and fall.

Sai: (Draws a viper in one of his scrolls) Ninpou: Choujuu giga!!

Orochimaru: (Opens his mouth revealing the sword of kusanagi which cuts the vipers into two pieces ).

Sakura: I am not done yet! (punches hard into the ground and cracks it thus disbalancing Orochimaru).

Sai flies towards Orochimaru with his short sword Orochimaru jumps to the nearest tree. Sai jumps to follow him. But Orochimaru elongates his neck to block Sai’s attack with his sword of kusanagi held in his mouth and then thrusts it towards Sai by jumping towards him. Sai jumps back while Sakura comes to the spot and punches Orochimaru in the face. Orochimaru flies and crashes into a tree.

Sakura: So how’s that?

Orochimaru’s body turns black and melts away.

Orochimaru: Se’e Tajashu (snakes appear from behind Sakura and Sai and bind them and raise from the ground).

Sai: ughh!

Sakura: You son of a-

Orochimaru: Hehehehe. Wonderful. I love the way you fight. But I don’t have any more time to waste. (Snakes bind Sai and Sakura harder and harder. Sai and Sakura reaches the verge of unconsciousness. Orochimaru spins and throws them away into the forest with fierce strength). Kabuto, I will head on, come when you’ve finished off these miserable lowlives.

Kabuto: Yes, Orochimaru-sama.

Lee: Do you really have time to look away? (runs towards Kabuto and jumps into a kick. Kabuto makes a dodge and strikes Lee’s thigh with his mystic palm technique)

Lee: (Falls and rolls on the ground. And is unable to stand up properly).

Kabuto: You can’t even stand. I guess fighting is out of the question. Then it’s better that I give you a fitting death. (prepares the mystic palm technique and approaches Lee).

Sai: Ninpou: Choujuu Giga (3 ink lions dash towards Kabuto. Kabuto turns and destroys them with his mystic palm. Sakura jumps in, grabs Lee and jumps out of the spot. Sai uses his disappearance technique and vanishes.)

Kabuto: ( Tch, I can’t believe I let them go. If I follow them now, it will only be a futile waste of time. Leave them for now. In their weakened state they will of little hindrance.)

Kabuto traces the path Orochimaru followed and goes away.

———————————————————————————————

Southern part of the forest.

Deidar: Take this.( Throws clay spiders towards Neji. Neji backs off and exposes his bare palms to the spiders)

Neji: Hakke kuushou!

The spiders are blown back towards Deidara.

Deidara: Good thinking, but I am afraid that using my technique against me won’t be of much help to you coz they don’t explode unless I have used my charka. Mhmm.

Neji: Hakke kuushou! (sends a thrust of air towards Deidara)

Deidara throws a bird towards the Neji, which explodes dissipating the kuushou. Then he takes several spiders and throws them into the ground causing a huge explosion and a smokescreen.

Neji: Its pointless. My eyes can see even in this smoke.( sees the figure of Deidara. The eight trigram seal opens beneath his legs). Hake hasangeki!

A huge thrust of air proceeds towards Deidara and penetrates him. Deidara starts to glow slowly incandescent.

Neji: Shit! It’s a trap.( the Deidara clay doll explodes violently) Neji flies off and breaks into two trees consecutively)

Deidara: (comes above the ground.) Didn’t see that coming did ya? But I have to tell you, you are one smart cookie. If you hadn’t used that defensive technique of yours at the nick of time. You would’ve been a goner. Why don’t you rest a bit, when I get the scroll I’ll fight you again. Mhmm.(creates a huge clay bird and flies away).

To be continued…

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8 Responses

  1. I’m sure it was good, but I just could not read it. You placed too many pictures in this chapter, so it took away from the story. Next time, put 1 – 5 pictures. You do not need 15 pictures ot get a point across. The words should paint a picture of the story for the reader. Pictures just add more effect. Pease remember this next time.

  2. ya ya so what? the pics are like spice to the the main dish!!

  3. i’ll have to agree with cookie if you use too much spices the dish will taste bad just try to use less next time.

  4. Fine, don’t take the advice. I was only trying to help. Next time, I’ll be sure to skip this fanfic.

  5. I get what Orochimaru22 was trying to do, he wanted to make it more exciting and wanted his readers to have a clear vision of what the fight looks like.

    Although, I also agree with Cookie, the best tool to grab your readers attention is substance so try using less pictures and write more, try setting the tone for the battles first instead of just start fighting the whole way through.

  6. I can see where cookie is coming from. The story is good no doubt about it, but just when i started to get into it a random pic showed up. Like when u have 2 sai and 2 diedra maybe u can get by with usin only 1 of each?

  7. i understand what all of you are trying to say. And sorry for my previous comment cookie, i didn’t mean anything ill. yes, its true. I got excited while making the post coz i like my fanfics lively both through writing as well as the pics. Don’t worry. The next one will be as per all your wishes. 🙂

  8. @ toke. i knoe what you mean man. but i wanted to portray sai’s attack and simultaneous dissapearance together and thus had to introduce both the pics. but cant u feel the ambiance brought by the pics into the story? pls comment if you do…….

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