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Aloha everyone.  Noneatencookie is back and ready for action!  This is my latest story, Invisible.  Invisible is a recounting of the finally days of Sakumo Hatake’s life, with it ending with his suicide.  This will hopefully be made up of ten to fourteen posts.  Anyways, I hope you enjoy.



As silence spread over the village of Konoha, a lone man stood awake, thinking about the mission he had finished.  Having been away from the village for days, he was happy to watch the stars from his little apartment.  He was also happy to see his son, an up and coming shinobi excelling in his ninja studies.  As he continued to watch the stars a young boy walked into his room.

“Father?  Is that you?” the child asked, looking at his feet.

“Yes, Kakashi.  I am home.” the man said with a slight smile.

Kakashi looked up towards his father, grinning from ear to ear.  He ran to the man, longing for his embrace.  It had been so long since he had been held by his father.

Sakumo held out his open arms, waiting for Kakashi’s sprint to them.  He caught him in his arms.  Still smiling, he instinctively asked, “How is your mother?”  Whenever he returned from a mission, he asked his son how the love of his life, the mother of his child, was doing.

Kakashi’s grin turned into a large frown.  “She’s still sick.  The Fourth and a medic-nin checked in on us yesterday, to see how mother was feeling and to see what I was up to.  The medic told him that she was still sick and that he condition had worsen.”

Sakumo instantly got up, with Kakashi still in his embrace, and went to the bedroom.  As he walked in, the lights began to flicker.  “Hmm, she must have forgotten to pay the bill.” he thought to himself.  He walked towards the bed.  There, in what seemed like a thousand blankets, laid a sickly pale woman.  Itoshii Hatake.

As he sat down next to the bed, Itoshii began to hack.  After she stopped, she began to speak.  “Sakumo, my love.  Are you back from you mission?”  Her voice was incredibly hoarse.  “The medics told me I’m not getting any better.  But I’m a fighter.  I know I’ll pull through.”

Sakumo gave a light-hearted smile.  “Yes, I know, my dear.  I know you will, too.  Our son told me that Minato stopped by.  Did he talk to you, or was he just here with the medic?” he asked, his smile slowly becoming a frown.

“Oh, Minato,” she replied.  As she began to speak again, a grotesque sounding cough was made.  Once done, she continued.  “He came her to talk to me.” she said turning towards Kakashi.  “Kakashi, please go to your room.”

Kakashi frowned.  “Did I do something wrong?” he asked, incredibly puzzled.

“No, no, my dear.  This is just a private conversation.  Plus, it’s time to go to bed.  You have your first day of the Ninja Academy tomorrow.  When we’re done, I’ll send your father in.” Itoshii said, trying to sound upbeat.

Kakashi walked to his room without a peep.  As he walked, he stared at his feet.  He was saddened, but at the same time, confused.  His mother never talked in private.  She was an open person who always let Kakashi stay up until late.  Something was wrong…

Making sure Kakashi was gone, Sakumo shut the door, giving them more privacy.  “So what is it you and Minato spoke about?”

“Well, he told me that judging from my results, I’ll be with the deceased in a few days.  He also told me many ninja of Konoha are going rogue.  He told me he needed you for an assassination mission, but you hadn’t returned.  So, he wants you in the Hokage’s Office at six o’ clock sharp tomorrow morning.  Then he went into the living room and talked to Kakashi.  I fell asleep soon after.”

Sakumo’s frown turned into a grimace.  “So, you’ll be dead in a few days.  You know I’ll always love you.  Remember that when you’re gone.  And I will go see Minato after I take Kakashi to the Academy.  Now get some rest.  It’s late and I know we’re both tired.”

He gave her kiss on the forehead and got into the bed.  As he laid in bed, he watched the ceiling, the only thing he could when he wasn’t tired.  All he could do was think about when Itoshii would pass.  They had been together for seven years, seven wonderful years.  He couldn’t imagine living without her…



Invisible: I named this fanfic “Invisible” because I feel like Sakumo’s eventual suicide was invisible to everyone around him.  He was a highly respected shinobi, had a very talented son.  He’s someone you’d never think would commit suicide.

Itoshii: Itoshii is the Japanese translation of “Beloved”.


Well, I hope you enjoyed this little fanfic.  Please leave your praises or insults in the comments below.


7 Responses

  1. I like this fan fic and you should keep it up. I thought it was kind of weird how cold they were about her dying soon.

    Also some advice, you should put some action in it and maybe some pics. It was very interesting and thoughtful but I want to see why Sakumo was said to be as strong as the Sannin. The first issue of you fan fics should leave the readers wanting to come back for more. Give them everything in one blow, action, drama, pain and maybe even romance.

  2. Sorry about that, I made them cold about it because I was trying to make him mor eninja like by showing less emotion in death, considering they see it almost everyday.

    I was going to put action into this fanfic, but not this chapter because he had just returned home from a however long mission. I wanted to give him time to rest. And I probably won’t add pics. Not that it doesn’t need ’em, I just don’t like pics in fanfics in general. I think that your words should draw a picture for the reader.

  3. This was a really good fanfic 😀
    the only problem i see is that im pretty sure minato wasnt the hokage yet. if kakashi is still in the academy then that means minato is still just a jonin.
    but besides that it was awesome 😀

  4. This fan fic was pretty cool =)
    by the way, I like what you said about the words drawing out a picture for the reader…I agree, it lets the reader really get into the reading…
    Hope to

  5. i like it it’s a good first blog for the beginning of a fanfic i hope the next one will come out soon

  6. I like this to man konoha at one time was so freaking powerful sakumo jiraiya orocji tsunade minato 3rd hokage danzo they should never lose a war haha but I lime this always wondered why we never heard more about kakashis mom or dad keep up the good work

  7. o hai dere

    Personally, I liked this fan fic. It was well-written, and the writer has proven to me that he’s literate, unlike certain other people that I know…


    You should have described Itoshii a little. While you don’t HAVE to, it helps to know what the person he’s talking to actually looks like. You could use her appearance to describe how sick she is, too. “She was pale. Her skin almost blended in with the sheets she was wrapped in, and her face was…” Blah blah blah. Her normally black hair had lost its luster… ~_~

    You get the idea.

    Good luck, Wonweatenwookie.

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