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Legend of the Uzumakis

this is my first fanfic. being a first chapter i wanted to lenghen it a bit to get it movin and try and set the scene. then next will be a bit shorter.  please give me your honest feedback. as i would like to improve my writing, and can only do so with honest feedback on good improvments. Thankyou.  oh and i all ready know about grammar. i should be getting MS word this week, which will at the least help.

—————————-

inside the hokages office stands Naruto, Sasuke and Sakura. early in the morning Naruto lets loose a big yawn as he prepares to recieve there orders for there next mission. The first since Lady Tsunade had returned to Konoha.

Tsunade- You three will be guarding a delegate from river country to Konoha. this is a C-rank mission and you sho…
Naruto-What!! hey hey hey hey, why are you giving me such a easy mission, i should be going out on A rank missions. How can i get stronger if i dont fight strong opponets?
Tsunade- Naruto…Shutup. all of the jonin instructors are currently performing other tasks and none are available to continue as your group leader. Therefor Sasuke will be your leader. as i said, it is escort. you shouldnt encounter any issues. The river country is at peace with the nations. Go now.

Some time later team 11 made it to the rondivue location at a small village located in a remote location, even for the land of rivers. As they approached the village Sasuke and Sakura couldnt help but notice a lack of acivity. In fact they didnt see anyone, or for that matter anything, not so much as a chipmunk. Meanwhile naruto oblivious to the suspicious circumstances continued to be his usual boisterous self.
Without warning the entire village explodes in a giant flaming inferno. Sasuke and Sakura are not all that suprised, and quickly take up a defensive position while naruto gets blown on his ass.

Sakura- Sasuke. what was that. what caused that?
Sasuke- i dont know but im going to find out. “Sharingan.” i dont see any chakra signatures but someone definitly had to WATCHOUT.

The 3 team members quickly fled back into the forest. as they starting rushing headlong for any place else that wasnt there, sasuke yelled another warning. “were being followed.” at that several kunai came flying out of the forest. the trio quickly wheeled around and deflected the Kunai. Sasuke sent a Giant Fireball backwards through the forest towards there pursuer, but the cloaked figure was no longer there. 3 more kunai came flying at them from the side. naruto quickly grabbed and moved sakura aside, who hadent seen the attack in time, but took a kunai into the shoulder as a consequence.

Sasuke- weve been set-up. i think that village was a fake.
Naruto- huh!?
sasuke-think about it you loser. we didnt see anyone at that village. it was way out in the middle of nowhere, no place where a river country representive would ever be, and it blew up and we have been attacked.
sakura- but why would anyone attack us? were nothing more then genin.
Sasuke- i have a suspicion or two, but its time to end this battle. i say we head towards that village we passed near the border on our way in. there was a bridge over a gorge there. that should suffice for a sufficient spot to counter-attack. Naruto.
Naruto-Right.

Nearing the clearing by the bridge more kunai come flying out of the woods towards Sasuke. Sasuke quickly turned and dodged as he tossed back 6 kunai which landed in trees in something of a cobweb pattern. the cloaked figure nearly ran into the wire attached to the kunai just managed to dodge the attack, what the person didnt notice was the fireball Jutsu Sasuke used right after. though what was now confirmed to be a women managed to dodge the attack, she had to discard her cloak after it became caught ablaze.
The 3 ninjas of Konoha quickly crossed the bridge and turned to face there attacker, who had now stopped on her side of the gorge. The women of her mid 20′s wore no headband and was rather tall and slender. she could have been considered quite atractive were it not for her potch-marked face and grotesque looking hair, which looked more like someone spilled a bowl of uncooked cornbreak mix on her head.

Mysterious Women- Sasuke uchiha, posser of the famed Sharingan, i have been ordered to capture You. you will submit willingly and i will allow your 2 comrades to go, or i will kill them and capture you anyways.
Sasuke- as if you could. you couldnt even kill naruto.
Mysterious women- Very well, in that case “Wind element tornado vortex”

As the women activated her jutsu, the wind within the canyon started to gust, in seconds a  huge vortex had formed around sasukes group and continued to get larger and larger. not only that but the vortex slowly collapsed in on them. Sasuke fired off a fireball jutsu, which instead of blowing the jutsu apart had the advers effect. the jutsu became a swirling mass of super heated air. several seconds later the jutsu Disolved and left the 3 members of team 11 smoldering on the ground.

Mysterious women- Hum. i didnt expect him to do that, i dont care about the other 2 but i hope the uchiha kid is still ali…umph.

the women went sliding across the ground. the 3 bodies on the other side of the canyon disipated, leaving the 3 members of team 11, standing over the women, all she noticed was the blood red sharingan. the very appearancing of it sent a shiver through her body, she could almost feel the menace, the hate eminating from it.  though she noted it wasnt perfect yet, she cursed it with all her might.

Women- but but how.
Sasuke- when you dodged my last 2 attacks naruto made clones of us and we hid in the bushes here. you ran right by us. Not very smart for a chunin.
women- please. i was only following orders.  i wouldnt have killed them 2.

at that sasuke staring down at the women pulled out a Kunai Knife and stabbed it into her neck.  the splatter of blood and the pool now forming on the ground below her, seamed to almost be overshadowed by Sasukes sharingan, which in the midst of the final attack had now been completed in 1 Eye.

Naruto- Hey, why did you do that for? she gave up, she was beaten, helpless.
Sasuke- She was our enemy.
Sakura- Sasuke, how could you. she surrendered?
Sasuke- you do not gain power by being Weak, nor by having mercy.  if you dont like it too bad. i will gain power at any cost if it means i can defeat that man, my brother. now out my way, its time to return to the village.

At that sasuke turned and headed towards konoha.  after watching him walk a short distance, sakura turned to look at Naruto and followed afterwards. naruto walked to the bridge, and didnt walk any further. he just stood there staring out into the canyon wondering what was happening to Sasuke when a women appeared next to him seemingly out of knowhere. of course it seemed as such to naruto, who was so torn up in thought that he hadent noticed here walking towards him for the past couple minutes.
Naruto turned to face the older women, and was instently caught up with her. a tall slender women who appeared to be onto her 40′s or early 50′s had the most instense red hair naruto had ever seen. Straight and Long all the way down to the small of her back, it looked as if it was going to burst into briliant red flames at any second. Naruto thought to himself that her hair could drown out the final rays of sunshine comming from a setting sun, and even make the sun look dimmer by contrast.

Naruto-Who are you?
Women- My name is Mina, im sorry i startled you, you looked to be lost in thought. i couldnt help but noticing your fight. that friend of yours is one cold Tomato.
Naruto- yes, im starting to think that myself. but ill save him, dattebayo. i can save him from himself and i will.
Mina- good for you. well i must be going. What did you say your name was again?
Naruto- uzumaki Naruto
Mina- Did you say uzumaki? of the uzumaki clan?
Naruto-huh, Clan? i have no clan, im from konoha.

the women drowned in thought couldnt help but wonder why this boys name parroted the uzumaki clan. the last she had known was most of the clan had been wiped out during the whirlpool  countrys invasion. More importently the last uzumaki to have lived in the leaf was long since dead. Wait, could he be the son of Kushina? the age would be right, and i know she was pregnant, but i thought she died before giving birth. At thinking this final thought the women thought she knew what happend. It was time to learn more.

Mina- Naruto. there is a village not far from here, would you walk me there? you must be hungry, ill make you something to eat.
Naruto- hungry? im starving? do you have ramen? usually i only eat ichirakus ramen but he has been sick the past week, and his shop has been closed.
Mina- yes i have ramen, come, walk with me and while we eat  ill tell you a story about a village that no longer exists in a country long since dead. the whirlpool country.

some time later in a small hut on the outskirts of the village naruto and Mina sat inside eating ramen. Mina finished first and was amazed at the apetite of Naruto, on the walk to her home she had had time to talk to naruto and had learned he was an orphan.  it was in learning this and when he was born that she was finnaly able to put enough pieces of the puzzle together to figure out what had hapend all those years ago.

Mina- Naruto, did you ever learn about the whirlpool country?
naruto- “the whirlpool country? no.” he said all the while stuffing ramen in his mouth.
Mina- let me tell you a story then. a long time ago long before you were born there existed a country. the whirlpool country, inside this country stood there hidden village. at the time this was one of the most powerful villages in the world. there relationship with that of your village konoha was strong. infact that symbol on your headband is partially built from the whirlpool symbol.
inside this village existed a clan of ninja reputed to be incredibly powerful. as powerful as that of the uchiha and senju. among there many tallents was a very strong ability for using sealing jutsu. the 4th hokage of the leaf used a derivitive of one of these seals for his space-time ninjutsu.
Naruto- the 4th hokage? what does he have to do with that village, and why havent i heard of this country before, and who are the senju?
Mina- well,  thats because the country and village no longer exists. so renown was the clans ability that the other great nations teamed up and destroyed the village and country out of fear of there power. konoha was helpless to prevent it.  after its destruction the clan was scattered to the winds, and spread out amongst the world, the survivors anyways. It was some years later that the clan reformed and went underground. hid themselves and there power from all who would seek to take advantage of them. as for the senju, dont worry about that for now.
Naruto-really? what was this clan? where are they now?
Mina- now the remnants of the clan remain in contact, spread out amongst the world. rebuilding its power. that clans name. The Uzumakis. yes naruto, you are part of that clan. the son of Kushina Uzumaki, who i havent seen in 20 years.
naruto- what? but but, that cant be. im an orphan, i have no family.
Mina- no naruto, you do have family. the reason you dont know them is because your parents died in that attack and thats when you aquired that which is hidden inside of you. your mother s name was Kushina, i used to know her well when we were young. we have a jutsu in the uzumaki clan we use to identify others from the clan. a form of seal we put on our body that activates when in close proximity to another uzumaki. it appears on the skin as a form of tatoo. i will give this to you now, as it is your birthright.
“Naruto, hold out your right hand. ” as Naruto held out his right hand Mina began forming handsigns. “Sealing jutsu- Uzumaki crest.” as Mina completed the jutsu a symbol formed on Narutos right hand, glowing blue at first eventually fading to black. “Naruto, this symbol is the symbol of the uzumaki, as you can see its similar to that of konohas symbol on your head band. this will only appear on your hand when in the proximity of another uzumaki clan member who has it, its a form of identification for the clan. see” at that mina turned her hand over and on it appeared the Uzumaki crest.
“how many more of us are there” stated naruto? “is there a lot? ive never had a real family before.” Naruto asked and Mina curtly respoded “there is enough, but we have been scattered. Most of us changed our name so as to not be found as even now there are some who still hunt for us. being in konoha, explains why they never tried to go after you.”
“Who exactly are you anyways?” naruto asked. “i am a keeper of records for our clan. i keep track of our history and jutsu’s. your name i will add to my timeline tomorow. i have one other thing for you before you leave. Summoning Jutsu.” With that a scroll appeared in her hand, after making a quick copy of it the original scroll disapeared back to where it came from. “Here naruto. this is also yours. its the jutsu of the 4th hokage. it may take you many years to learn it if you even can,” as she thought to herself that no one else has been able to master it since” but as it originated from a uzumaki jutsu, i believe it should be yours as well.”
Naruto held the scroll in his hands he looked up into Mina’s azure eyes. “what does the 4th hokage have to do with our clan?” naruto asked.” you dont know naruto? well someday youll figure it out. now i have buisness to attend to and its getting late you should go before konoha starts looking for you. you have been gone a long time. come back some time in the future and well talk more.”
As Mina turned and walked into a back room naruto started off towards konoha with with some answers to old questions and even more new questions. he decided on his return trip to start finding them.
some time later naruto walked through the walls of Konoha as the sun started to lift into the sky. He accidently bumped into 3 anbu members, who quickly grabbed him and hauled him off to the hokages office.
Hokage- Naruto, where have you been? sakura and sasuke returned nearly ten hours after you. i have half a mind to confine you to the village as punishment, but then id only be punishing myself.
Naruto-Sorry, i ran into an old lady and had a lot on my mind. she gave me some ramen.
Hokage-What?  i was sending anbu out to look for you because you had to have some ramen with some old women you met? Do you have any idea how dangerous that is?
Naruto- Yes Granny, but i learned something very importent to me.
Hokage- what could you have possibly learned?
“Kushina Uzumaki” said naruto firmly, as he thought to himself that the old ladys faced blanched off quick, the blood draining away at the mear mention of this name. Naruto knew he was on the right track. the old lady clearly knew something.

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9 Responses

  1. Aside from alot of grammatical mistakes, I really enjoy where you’re going with this story. Nice job.

  2. i like it because this is from my favourite time in naruto, before sasuke went too much emo and crazy and i still liked him. keep it up!

  3. this feels like one of those fillers that the anime guys came up wid

    avoid using portions of the original story .. this will definitely make it more interesting .. carve your own end to the story and do not at all think about the original story

    good writing style though

  4. @devils

    thats actually where im going, but the first chapter and part of the second uses the story to build upon. after that im going in a different direction.

  5. wonderful … can’t wait :D

  6. Such a Losuy story. Poor grammar and the story is not that great. Better go home and weave a nice sweater for your granny.

  7. *losuy = Lousy

  8. rex don’t destroy him, go give him tips on how to make it better instead

  9. I like blasting me for my grammar and then not proof reading.

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